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Written By Gilroy

March 1, 2019, 2:10 p.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

Relationship Note on Sparte

Look at this fancy lad with his /potatoes/.

Written By Gunther

March 1, 2019, 1:05 p.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

My Sally,

Reckon I'm doin' just peachy. Some kind lass sent me a statue of you onna account I mentioned my fears of forgettin' your face an' all. And it looks something special. I had it in my room onna account I wanted to look at it all the time. But that just felt wrong so I puts it in the Arena in the Redrain area just so I can sees it when I'm sweepin'. Few fellas noticed it and snickered some. I reckon they just don't the love of a good size woman. Ain't nothin' better in this life that much I know for sure. I sure miss that cushion to snuggle into at night. Ain't nothin' warmer; we coulda slept on ice and you'd keep me toasty you was that beautiful and special. Was a time I'd a just layed them fellas out with my knucks for their snickerin'. Ain't like that no more Sally -- you saw me set to a good path and I'm walkin' it. Thankful to them Gods for you erry day.

Now you know I ain't learn-ed none. Never was into my books onna account I was a mitts sort o' fellow. But that don't mean I'm dumb -- neither. Sometimes I feels like I am though. I struggle when I read fancy words and journals that talk about things big and complicated. I reckon I'm just a salt of the earth fella. I may not know my books but I've survived fifty-five years and been happier'n most could ever ask for in their entire lives. That's smarts. To see a good thing and knows not to muck it up none.

I've stayed out of my cups Sally. Ain't easy with you gone an' all but I have done it. I have been doin' good things. Helpin' folks. Carin' for em'. Teachin' em so that one days they might be able to protect themselves. I been given every red cent I earns here over to the church save for what little I keep back for vittles. Just feels good to be givin' to somethin' whats given to you.

I miss you so. I been prayin' to have the dream again. The one I wrote about the other day an' all. But it ain't come back. I wish it would. Even if I'm sleepin' and I knows its not real I wants it so much. I just, it's hard... onna account you bein' dead -- hard to not get bitter and angry. But I don't. I am better than that.

You taught me despite it all I can and am a good person. That everyone can belong to somethin' and hope ain't never lost.

I miss you, girl. I can't wait until we are together again.

Always yours,
Gunther

Written By Ysbail

March 1, 2019, 12:56 p.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

Relationship Note on Ahriman

As a Prodigal Shaman, and a Member of the Peerage, there are things I have come to accept about living in the compact. My tattoos will likely always set me apart. I do not regret them because of this, they are a part of me and my history. Part of what marked me as a spiritual leader of my people for many years prior to bending the knee to the Crovane so long ago. But it is strange how something that was in my youth a mark of distinction and great honor becomes something shameful and to be feared within the compact. It leaves an immediate impression upon those who first meet me - and there are a number of people who never bother beyond that first impression. Secondly, that my presence in a shrine seems to confuse those who mistakenly believe that the philosophies offered by the old ways must by their very nature be incompatible with the Faith.

And yet here is a man who has experienced the worst the tribes of the abandoned have to offer - and the surreal experience of encountering someone who may have looked very like the captors who held him for 15 long years, in the Shrine of Lagoma.

And he still extended his hand in the offer of mutual friendship.

For this, he shall always have my deepest respect.

Written By Gloriel

March 1, 2019, 12:30 p.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

Relationship Note on Lailah

My dearest cousin. You make me smile. Not many people can say that. I enjoy our nighttime talks. I hope to run into you again soon. Like another sister, almost.

Written By Amari

March 1, 2019, 12:28 p.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

I feel like I haven't been the most sociable of late or my attempts to be have fallen flat. There's been friends and acquaintances I've been meaning to see, and haven't. Occasions and events missed, when I probably could have or should have attended. Missives left unanswered or sent into voids from which there's no reply. I'll start tracking people down once I've made some positive progress on the stuff and things which have a habit of creeping in and crowding out the happier thoughts.

At least I got out to the Kismet Carnival. Venturo put on a grand show, and the games were amusing. I played all but one, though it sounded as if Sir Corban won it handily. The shell game was definitely more suited to my natural talents, but I did do fairly well with the puzzles and even the hammer smash. The latter was truly surprising, but I have been training and have some archery muscles now. I shared some of the Fortuitous I won with Baron Uncle Norwood the following day and somehow refrained from using my winner's stein for winners, since I don't want to be a boorish Lady Show Off.

There was also Lisebet's wedding picnic, hosted by her sister Elsbetta. They had an oven for people, which isn't as macabre as it sounds (I think. I didn't try it). It was a pleasant gathering, though were I Lisebet, I'm not sure I'd want to marry out and live somewhere absent those garden pools. Also, apologies again for River. She's weird about cats, even mountain lions, apparently.

Written By Mirk

March 1, 2019, 10:57 a.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

After thought, meditation, and a few conversations with those around me, I decided to accept the title of Elder of the Spirit Walkers. The title still sounds strange beside my name, as it's something that belonged to Cybele alone when I arrived in Arx. I will not attempt to fill her shoes, as she was a person of singular wisdom and she cannot be replaced. Instead, I will serve the Spirit Walkers in my own way, building up the organization she helped to create and, just as important, supporting the people in that organization.

I still feel too small for the role, like a child donning his parent's shoes. I considered saying no. But I went through this same struggle when I was a young man, questioning whether or not to call myself a shaman, whether I deserved to claim that title. I had been traveling for some years, then, and had spoken to many shamans along the way. In that time, I had grown from a supplicant seeking knowledge to a peer discussing our shared calling. Without even noticing, I had become comfortable making offerings on another's behalf, or asking the wisdom of the spirits for a small village or tribe that had no shaman of their own. In other words, I had become a shaman, somewhere along the way.

It would feel strange to debate that question now. Of course I'm a shaman. I've grown into that role, and now it fits me like an old pair of boots after I've walked a hundred miles in them. This isn't quite the same. It's not a question of claiming the title, but accepting it, and the Spirit Walkers are localized, also. Its titles don't always carry the same weight outside of our small community. But I'm hopeful that it will one day feel as natural to call myself an Elder of the Spirit Walkers as it does to call myself a shaman.

I can't express how much it means to me that High Shaman Drea and Vala Khanne have such faith in my abilities.

Written By Martino

March 1, 2019, 10:22 a.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

Relationship Note on Willow

Sounds quite the excellent the excellent book, you shall have to also get through it to d for dupion. A thicker spun silk and wool blend that, truly, plays more with the colours as the wool waft alongside a fine silk is a beautiful blend. You must seek out these clothes two that supposedly blend silver, gold or bronze itself into the fibres.

But yes, one would not wish to busy the fabric too much with a pattern or embroidery on top. Fine picks of gemstones would only do.

Written By Bliss

March 1, 2019, 10:21 a.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

People are scared.

It's not even a doubt in my mind when I'm out here, where raids by the Abandoned are not just a threat but a fact of life, when you're in the smaller towns where even losing one person means they might not have enough food for the winter. I grew up in a city, surrounded by blades and guards. They were more a nuisance to me than anything else back in those days, but being out here is reminding me of those times. The whispered rumors of what the shavs did to groups of soldiers they captured during the war with Southport. The disgusted look on my father's face when it came up.

They've heard the stories of what happened during the Silent War, at the Lodge, while we fought the Gyre. They laugh off the strange rumors of course, but in their eyes is that look for me to laugh with them and reassure them that none of it is true. The hope that they're safer than they worry they might be.

I've been drinking a lot on this trip.

I've thought about wearing a cloak to cover my armor, to hide Vowkeeper, but I think when they realize who I am - when they see me out here - it helps. Just a little. They all want to know why, of course, and 'unfinished business' doesn't sate anyone's curiosity.

So I sing for them. I dance for them. I duel for them and tell them stories of tales in the past. I try to remind them that things aren't as bad as they might seem, that we still need to fight for the world we want, but there's so little I can say. Still, I think their spirits are brighter when I leave.

By the time this reaches Arx, I should be well into the Lyceum. I think I have to make a stop somewhere I've never been.

Written By Alarissa

March 1, 2019, 10:17 a.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

Thirteen million overall.

Just a little over five hundred thousand to bring us to 9 million for the year.

Each day, each day I am flabbergasted at the generosity that pours forth.

Probably too ambitious to forge forth for ten million? I have sent some items made for auction to the former whisper Selene to see them sold for Thursday's Child. We shall see. I have to try.

Written By Delilah

March 1, 2019, 10:10 a.m.(8/28/1010 AR)

For the first time in my life, at least in my adult life, I've been able to make a meaningful contribution after scrimping, saving, shaking out cushions, and converting silver to something or another.

I will not miss a single coin. It goes to something so much greater than I am.

Written By Vercyn

March 1, 2019, 8:47 a.m.(8/27/1010 AR)

It does a man proud to hear how accomplished my family has gotten. Such high praise for them lifts my head, and raises our house.

Written By Lisebet

March 1, 2019, 7:42 a.m.(8/27/1010 AR)

My sister Elsbetta is very sweet. She held a pre-wedding picnic for me, which was a lot of fun. I learned something about a red dress I never knew before, and we talked about Mistress Petal's magnificent skill in creating dresses. We also may have had a bit too much to drink, which I think is only to be expected.

My soon to be sister, Olivia, is adorable. I am very glad to be getting to know her better, and I must admit I thought of her presence before answering the question of what I would do first after marriage.

Well, the answer is obvious, is it not?

Written By Avary

March 1, 2019, 5:33 a.m.(8/27/1010 AR)

That of the worship of The Sentinel remains one of the more recondite doctrines among the Faith of the Pantheon. It is a matter I have prayed over many times to Vellichor.

Tonight, I held vigil and was more ruminative over it, for it has been five years almost to the day (about a week or so more, actually) since my appointment as Archlector for the Sentinel and in that time I feel there has been little to no advancement or clarity brought to Its doctrine.

I pray to Vellichor for I know it is outside our capacity as a race of mortal men and women to truly comprehend the total nature of any of the Gods of the Pantheon. Only the truly arrogant would claim otherwise. So, is the attainment of understanding achieved thus not sufficient?

But as I receive missives and requests, and as I read journals my curate brings, and as I field questions to my person, I grow more and more certain that more must be done to bring to the laity and Godsworn alike a more complete doctrine and thus fulfill my true charge as Archlector: theological work in the development of worship for my assigned God.
(Understanding full well that development will never achieve to identify the total nature of my assigned deity or any of Its many aspects.)

Recently, in the Shrine, I was approached by a woman who was able to put to words a nagging I have had for years, but which even I could not precisely define. She was unaware she had done this. And she was likely unaware that what she spoke struck me with any profundity. But she had put to words (quite accidentally) what lay at the root of nearly every query that has come my way.

What she said (and this will be my recollection only), “I have never been in a position where my decision would directly affect the lives of many. Nor have I had the authority to enact justice upon another. Nor have I been in circumstance where justice must be brought to me.”

What she meant was that before she found herself in a recent circumstance, the Sentinel was an esoteric God reserved for criminals, nobility, generals, champions, knights and those who enforce our laws, or magistrates. ‘How does the Sentinel apply to me?’ is the most common theme of questioning I receive from the laity and, even, many Godsworn.

As I read the journals I often come across ‘the Sentinel as bogey-man’ as It ‘sees everything you do’ and It will enact ‘Its justice’ upon you.

Truth! It is an esoteric thing. The full conceptualization of Truth. The very nature of Truth itself. Such is an aspect of the Sentinel. It is certainly not reserved for the nobility. We will never attain Its completeness of Truth in understanding or in…well…Truth.

We pray to the Sentinel not to seek Truth, but to *see* Truth. It sees all, and in the all It sees, It sees Truth. And we pray not only to see Truth, but to have the courage to see it, and the resolve to countenance it, and the will to live with it.

It is often right before one.

And so, I now countenance the truth of my charge, and do so without quiver or quibble.

The coming months will see the development of Its doctrine and worship so as to bring understanding to one of the more impenetrable, and feared, of the thirteen, that It might then also stand among the most beloved. (Do not pretend you love them all the same. One needn’t invoke the Sentinel to see that untruth.)

It will be an undertaking of some scope and hence the recent petition for assistance.

Written By Willow

March 1, 2019, 3:30 a.m.(8/27/1010 AR)

I think I may finally have met a northman with a temprament complimentary to mine and enough love of beauty and love for our long talks on it to nourish my soul. I have long thought it unlikely I will ever marry, and I imagine such will likely remain the case, but for the first time in a long time, I am reminded that my hopes for a possible match aren't impossible to find with someone who is not well aged enough to have fathered me. Not that I mind the age, in fact, my first intended was twenty years my senior and I loved him so much it hurt. There is a sort of wisdom and perspective that a long life grants which teaches one to play the long game rather than to bolt forward feckless and wholehearted into rash decisions.

I should very much like to hear Lord Rysen's poetry sometime. He seemed to be perhaps the only one to.have seen my paintings that fully seems to "get" the language of the symbolism used in them to not just show an image but to tell a story. I wish I could hear his critique on the painting I did of the Lady and her Knight.

Written By Drea

Feb. 28, 2019, 11:14 p.m.(8/27/1010 AR)

Relationship Note on Mirk

My nephew. Oh how you have grown. You are so strong now. So sure. When it was suggested that you should become an Elder of the Spirit Walkers. I was so proud of you I wanted to crack open a bottle right there. You give me hope that there is a generation to come after that will hold to Shamanism. I feel that need much after losing Cybele.

Written By Drea

Feb. 28, 2019, 11:12 p.m.(8/27/1010 AR)

Vala Khanne has been working hard for the Spirit Walkers since I have been in Farhaven. Her work really is amazing. She's even built a Spirit Walkers Hall for those of us who believe in Shamanism to have a safe space to speak, to think, to learn. I have spoken to her about a library in the Hall and we have been working on making that a reality.

Written By Harlex

Feb. 28, 2019, 9:50 p.m.(8/27/1010 AR)

Relationship Note on Lucita

I have learned a great deal about the skill of knifework from the Baroness. She will always have my gratitude.

Written By Bliss

Feb. 28, 2019, 8:24 p.m.(8/26/1010 AR)

<A page has been inserted into this journal, looking a little weathered>

Scholars, please hold my journals until I'm back in the city for a few days before publishing them - I would rather not have potential raiders know where I am on the road.

Brighthold always seems to catch me off guard. Whether it is something in the simple look and feel of the town itself or the kinds of people you find there, I'm not certain, but it has so often been a surprise to me. This time it was because of the Great Road, though - it's really the first time I've seen it. It's something of a marvel, when you step to the edge of town and look, seeing this thread go off into the horizon, winding through hills and trees. I don't know how I missed the early stages of construction now - I think I just hadn't put all the pieces together? - but still.

It might be my imagination, but the markets seem a little busier, a little livelier than the last time I visited. Not just the fish and oysters, but there are more things from other parts of the Compact, and the more successful merchants seem to be dressed a bit better. The market is loud and busy, and it smells like the sea, but there is still a tension in the air. The King's proclamation seems to have beaten me here, and I hear it being talked about in snippets as I walk.

We aren't here long enough for me to write much. There is an awful long way to go and the Knights are letting me know we're ready.

I suppose that's it for now, though. An inconvenient time to leave Arx, certainly, but the sooner I do this, the sooner it's done. And I have been putting this off for a very long time now.

Written By Sparte

Feb. 28, 2019, 8:13 p.m.(8/26/1010 AR)

What is considered simple food? Is it just eating bread and potatoes?

Written By Azova

Feb. 28, 2019, 7:58 p.m.(8/26/1010 AR)

I do so hate writing these journals. Not that I don't like the journals - they are a splendid tribute to the Gods, as well as an excellent tool for the public record. It is just that I frustrate myself in their writing. One's life can not fit so neatly into entries fit for the journals. But what is life about if not trying to make all the awkward pieces fit nicely in one image? Ah, how blessed we all are.

Pilgrims come from across the realm to Arx to seek the healing abilities of our Mercies. Day in and day out we tend to them, washing their wounds and cleansing them of sickness so that the weak may grow strong and the wounded can rise again to live their lives in health.

The rabbits in Solace Square won't even come out to let me pet them when I offer them food. How cruel the nature of desire is that we can only want that which we do not have?

Bah!

I'll keep a copy of this journal by my bed to remind myself to be more grateful. I hope it reminds you as well.

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