Sept. 26, 2021, 9:53 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
Questing after a promised treasure feels so much more heroic than just finding treasure. I like the feel of it.
Sept. 26, 2021, 9:37 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
It's good to be back in the city! I've missed everyone so I can't wait to see everyone again. Especially Varan and Jerrica.
Sept. 26, 2021, 9:32 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
I am very thankful to Lord Gawain who helped to shield me from further injury. I might not be here to right this letter if he didn't do such. Thank you, Lord Gawain for helping us all make it through.
Also I no longer like pink flowers......
Sept. 26, 2021, 8:56 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
It's spring. The winter has thawed and I can walk barefoot through the grass again. I made a promise that I would make it through the bitter cold, so that come spring, I might find a proper steed and ride again. I spent many an evening, eyes squinting in the candle light after reading too much, thinking about that summer, where I rode wild horses down a perfectly pale sandy beach. I miss the wind in my hair. I look forward to these coming days. Though there may be challenge and difficult times, there is so much to be grateful for.
Sept. 26, 2021, 8:53 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
The trip was a success. It always pleases me when business thrives and grows.
I did not have much time to dwell on solutions to fear. It is not the kind where "liquid courage" would provide any assistance.
Sept. 26, 2021, 8:46 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
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Softest Whisper Cesare has found his place. When he came to me, I put certain demands before him, that he show himself worthy of being named Softest. He has exceeded my expectations in every way, and I am thrilled to have him. For fear of sounding an old crone, he reminds me of myself, not so long ago, when I was named Softest. I was hungry and eager and ambitious then. Not that I do not have those traits now, mind, but there's something about the seat of the Radiant that lends its weight to you in every way. And I find that I am very content to watch my Whispers grow and thrive. Cesare is going to be a big part of that going forth, and that makes my heart swell with joy.
Sept. 26, 2021, 8:33 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
I know that we are only in the infancy of the new season, but such changes always seems to sing to me of possibility, new opportunities and delights to come.
I adore that happy and hopeful feeling. It is as if the turn to warmer weather reminds us that no matter how cold and daunting the world can be, things change and life renews when you least expect it. We just have to watch for the first kiss of green and sweet blossoms to come, and then perhaps help nurture it along so that it might grow and blossom all the more.
Here is to a sweet and pleasurable new season to all.
Sept. 26, 2021, 8:18 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
The smells that winter's freeze disguise are wafting up and are given more layers by sogginess and decay. It's time for sturdy boots and hitched up skirts to wade through the muck. All the little bits that fell and were lost in the snows limp and glitter. Glitter is an exaggeration, of course, because anything that truly glitters is soon snatched up to turned into coppers. But maybe, from the top of the hill, those flecks of lint, parchment, sacks, whatever shine bright in the sun. Why not call it beautiful, when it's home?
Sept. 26, 2021, 8 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
It's amazing how cutting in the exactly right spot will cause someone to sing louder than all others.
Sept. 26, 2021, 4:53 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
Poetry, Scholar? You've got to be kidding. No, I've never written poetry with pen and ink. I've not often had the leisure for it, and the meandering about the place with the eyes focused on something else is a great way to end up getting rolled. You're also assuming that I learned how to write as a child, I think?
Eh? No, my poetry's mostly written in blood. Other peoples' blood, to be more precise.
Well if you didn't want to know, why did you ask?
Sept. 26, 2021, 4:33 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
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I don't know what to say.
I was with Fitz when I first heard. It's such a weird thing, crying in front of your kid. Not that I'd ever want him to learn that he shouldn't grieve, shouldn't weep, but it's hard being so raw and vulnerable in front of him, and he
He remembers you. Of course. He liked you quite a lot. But with half his life spent with the Nox'alfar, death is so different for him. He didn't understand, Nurie. He didn't understand why I was grieving. And then he was almost angry when I tried to explain, to tell him that you wouldn't be back in a moment, a day, a week. That whenever your soul did come back around, it would be a long time from now, and you'd be a different person. I mean, he _knows_ all of that, it's just
He doesn't appreciate it, I guess.
But somehow it's easier writing about him right now than writing about you. You were so very special, Nurie. You cared so much, and loved so deeply, and asked so little in return. You deserved more of me, even if you never asked for it. I wish I'd had the courage to give you that. I wish I'd stolen more time with you. I wish I'd let things be simpler. I used to be so good at that.
I just wish we'd had more time. I wish I'd given you more. I wish I hadn't wasted the time we had. Your last letter is still there on my desk. Waiting for me to write back. I hadn't wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to just pretend like you'd be back in Arx soon enough. Sooner than you thought.
Gods, you deserved better from the whole world. Fuck. I miss you so fucking much already.
Sept. 26, 2021, 2:54 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
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So, it was not the best idea to climb upon the snowy rooftop of the Blanchard house to gaze upon the heavens. It is a good thing the snow has thawed. Perhaps a redo is in our stars.
Sept. 26, 2021, 2:52 p.m.(4/11/1016 AR)
I had the distinct pleasure of watching my cousin, Princess Sorrel, instruct offense lessons to Inquisitor Insaya. She made it look so easy and I had to wonder how I would do in such a situation. My cousin did not go easy on the inquisitor and I understood why - if one can dodge random flying objects, one can dodge a sword. Or something like that. Needless to say, I was inspired. Not yet ready, but inspired.
Sept. 26, 2021, 1:56 p.m.(4/10/1016 AR)
I wanted to see more than just Arx. I had to lay eyes on the rest of the continent, to see these places that so many plead for me to get my government involved with. It was a breathtaking spectacle, from the snows of the north to the beaches of the south. And now, seasons gone from Arx, I retrun to see what has taken place in my absence.
There's a dread and a joy both to be had in coming back to one's duty station.
Functionary of the Undying Empire.
Sept. 26, 2021, 12:32 p.m.(4/10/1016 AR)
Lady Medeia and the vintners of Saikland outdid themselves when they produced a wine to serve at the reception, and give to guests to take home with them afterwards. I shall reserve it for other special occasions, like Noah and I's second year anniversary. I have never had the pleasure of celebrating a second wedding anniversary before.
Sept. 26, 2021, 12:28 p.m.(4/10/1016 AR)
I can not express how grateful I am to all those who came to support Noah and me by attending our wedding reception. A lot of work went into the preparations, from the building of the maze itself to the party favors. Now that it is over, I admit I feel a bit sad. I have always enjoyed throwing myself into planning an event, and one as grand as this was something that I relished in. Perhaps I can convince others to allow me to assist in planning their parties as well!
I wish to thank Dame Ida for the beautiful daggers, as clearly Noah would have been put out if at least one of the favors wasn't something small and pointy. Master Ripley took my vision for our wedding rings and surpassed them.
Also thank you, Noah, for putting up with me during these past few months as planning and execution of plans occurred. I know I can be a perfectionist, and you kept me sane.
Sept. 26, 2021, 10:41 a.m.(4/10/1016 AR)
Today's tea is a black tea, a mix of a variety of leaves that is a gentle morning wake up. Far gentler than my children were when they bounced on the bed.
Sept. 26, 2021, 9:10 a.m.(4/10/1016 AR)
Sometimes, I get caught up in what seems to be the greater good and lose sight of what is truly important. I try not to scold myself too harshly for it, because I am only human, but oaths and steel - I need to be better than that.
Sept. 26, 2021, 8:41 a.m.(4/10/1016 AR)
And then one day the snow was gone, and it was hot and muggy. Did we skip spring this year? I was looking forward to the apple blossoms.
Sept. 26, 2021, 1:18 a.m.(4/9/1016 AR)
'a summons to a secret courtyard
so quiet, candlelit shadow
lovers, young, do meet
velvet time stolen
hushed breath, pain sweet'
Apparently, drunk and very young, I wrote a wish in the form of poetry. It didn't unravel until later, but what it wove as a foundation was better, the rows had to be ripped up and redone.
It's been a long week. To have faith in a person like the sun rising, or the moon burning behind the clouds... do you know what that's like? I do. It's a sacred thing, to have and to know. If you know it's yours? Don't squander it, you fool. Never.