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The Crown Presents! a lively roast of ...The Crown!

Rhetoric Speaker of the Crown Saoirse Velenosa hosts a lively roast of King Alaric Grayson IV himself and the Crown organization as a whole. Keep it spirited, light hearted, and enjoy an evening of fine dining, mild scandal, and ribbing*.

* menu includes ribs.


May 10, 2018, 8 p.m.

Hosted By



Lumen Felicia Caith Reese Fiora Cullen Bliss Katarina Alaric Jev Eirene Violet Yasmine Kaine Sabella Barric(RIP) Leona Derovai Lisebet Arik Magpie Wynna Venturo Vitalis Aureth Jaenelle Monique Coraline Rook Gareth



Arx - Ward of the Crown - The Palace - Great Hall

Largesse Level


Comments and Log


I'm very much looking forward to the menu for this event, which includes

MOCK turtle soup, ROAST carrots and potatoes, ROASTED pheasant, piles of TOASTed breads and rolls, wrapped asparagus bundles TEASED to standing, piles of RAZZ(raspberries)berries and JAPES (grapes), and of course... RIBS. Notably absent, however is BUTTER -- there's no way to butter anything up.

I have also staffed the event exclusively with male waiters named Josh.

This is very serious work, nobody better find this funny.

Yasmine arrives, following Rook.

Gale, The Mighty Pupper, Erin, Crimson Blades Private arrive, following Violet.

Alaric has joined the Green Table.

Kaine s looks rather wide-eyed as he wanders into the Great Hall, seemingly already impressed by the entrance hall. But his eyes widen even further here as his gaze scans the whole area, and he swallows hard, keeping his hands at his sides.

Aureth has joined the Green Table.

Lisebet has joined the Green Table.

Alaric is at the big green table up front, apparently plied with a good dinner and a ready supply of wine and awaiting the start of the speechy stuff. Bring on the jokes!

Cullen has joined the Green Table.

Lumen has joined the Green Table.

Gareth has joined the Green Table.

Entering the Hall with Lady Lisebet on his arm, Lord Cullen makes his way to the large green table and takes a seat after pulling one out for Lisebet, then gets comfortable, murmuring something to her shortly afterwards.

The Great Hall of the Palace has been set up for a magnificent banquet, with huge tables lined with linens and glasses and cutlery only the esteemed King of the Compact can afford. It is stunning, a glittering display of wonder.

Plates are piled high with sumptuous food -- MOCK turtle soup, ROAST carrots and potatoes, ROASTED pheasant, piles of TOASTed breads and rolls, wrapped asparagus bundles TEASED to standing, piles of RAZZ(raspberries)berries and JAPES (grapes), and of course... RIBS. Notably absent, however is BUTTER -- there's no way to butter anything up.

All of these foods are attended to by waitstaff and, when asked, every single one says his name is ... JOSH.

They must be joshing. Right?

Saoirse's entrance is ... quite something. From deep in the recesses of the palace, there is a fair bit of jostling - yelling? Certainly sharp speaking. Not from Saoirse, but deep male voices. This goes on for a moment, then the doors to the Great Hall BURST open to reveal... a -huge- bed, a replica of the one Alaric slept in for those long, coma-filled days. And on top of it? Saoirse Velenosa, riiiiding in. Hi. Welcome to an event. As ya do.

Lisebet, with her hand on Cullen's arm, arrives, and they make their way to one of the smaller tables. She curtseys towards the King, because King. And at the smaller green table, she slides into a seat, given there are two of them there, and available. As Cullen holds the chair for her, she settles in, smoothing her skirts and murmurs a thank you to her escort for the evening.

1 Grayson Guardsmen, Deliverance, an albino falcon, Stormy, a silvery gray hunting hound, Rascal, a hyper terrier, Rosalie, a lady in waiting, Peaches, a lovely white war filly with a peach saddle arrive, following Reese.

Peaches, a lovely white war filly with a peach saddle have been dismissed.

Rascal, a hyper terrier have been dismissed.

Stormy, a silvery gray hunting hound have been dismissed.

Leona enters with her sister in tow, but she's in armor with her helm tucked under her arm, and looking very serious. Super serious. Oh, His Majesty has his King's Own contingent for the evening, but she is apparently going to also be present. Just in case. "Pick a place, Nell," she says to her twin and then Saoirse makes her entrance. One eyebrow goes up as she waits for Jaenelle to make her seating choice.

"That looks pretty comfortable," Alaric asides to Lumen as he watches Saoirse and her bed ride in.

The raucous spectacle that is Saorise's eye-catching arrival is regarded with great humor from Katarina who, presently, has found a nice seat at a side table. "She certainly knows how to make an entrance," she laughs.

Carissa, a Malvici bodyguard, Planchet the Lycene maggiordome arrive, following Eirene.

Carissa, a Malvici bodyguard have been dismissed.

Kaine wanders the tables until he spots Alaric. Then he freezes and his shoulders stiffen. And he does a stiff bow his way. Then he blinks and looks at Saoirse being carried in on a bed, and blinks some more.

Aureth beats a cheerful drumroll against the surface of the table at which he has been seated.

But are they -really- jokes? Rook, as Crown Minister of Coin, arrives to be dutifully present. On his arm is Yasmine Ravashari, and so they enter and they walk, headed towards a place to settle. The sight of Saoirse riding in on a huge bed causes him to pause a moment, and then he breathes out, moving toward a seat. "I'm not sure I'm going to understand this any more than you will, Mistress Rovashani," he says, as if highlighting an earlier complaint of his former protege.

As Yasmine steps into Great Hall on Rook's arm, she seems to be muttering to herself what sounds like a mantra. "Do not tell jokes about animal genitalia. Do not sing answers to polite questions. Don't drink too much champagne. Do not talk about chickens or goats." She slants a glance at the courtier and murmurs, "What is someone else brings up chickens fi-" The end of the question is broken up by Saoirse's entrance. Yasmine just sort of stares.

Wynna squints at the conspicuous entrance, absently rolling her eyes and looking as if she's immediately harboring some silent regrets.

Felicia wasn't going to come, and the expression on the redhead knight's face, and that she is in her off-duty gear probably says that loudly enough. Still. She's here. And she makes her way towards one of the tables reluctantly.

Coming in on the arm of the Lord Commander of the King's own, Jaenelle has the best escort ever. "I have to sit facing the wall" she says to Leona for no real reason. "Or baring that, in the back." The bed comes in and she mirror's the expression of her twin sister, brows arching. "Yes. The back" and she motions towards one of the tables.

Gareth has left the Green Table.

Gareth has joined the Grayson Royal Couches.

Jaenelle has joined the Alcove By the Stairs.

Wynna has joined the Shadowy Corner.

Rook answers Yasmine evenly, after a moment, to her unfinished question. "No, not even then. Come now."

Felicia has joined the Gray Table.

Rook has joined the Gray Table.

Saoirse's entrance receives a mixed reaction from Lumen. The whisper's eyes widen mildly and she works to suppress a nervous smile, daring not to check on Alaric's expression upon seeing the bed. She just... fills her lil lungs with air and gives a quick successive few nods. "Very."

Violet has joined the Gray Table.

The attendants, many of them, place the bed near Alaric and Saoirse wriggles her way to the edge of it. "Welcome," she says to the room at large. "To a roast of The Crown. You'll find seating and food," punny, punny food, "and a liberal tolerance for jokes at the crown's expense. "Your Majesty, I figured you would find yourself more comfortable in a familiar setting - after all, roasts can get one's hackles up." She bounces off the bed and gestures to it for Alaric. Should he wish.

"This is an open roast; if you would like to participate, please "get in line"."

Yasmine has joined the Gray Table.

Leona has joined the Alcove By the Stairs.

Derovai has found his space, and it's not at the green table. It's at a side corner, where he perches, his arms folding. Saoirse's entrance earns a raise of his brows, but little amusement crosses his face. In fact, he looks more skeptical than anything. He does, however, grab a glass from a passing Josh-the-waiter, taking a long sip. "Are these jokes supposed to make people wine?" he wonders, lifting the glass to the waiter to connote the pun.

Eirene Is here, black leather and sour expression as always. Her hair is braided into ornate strands of black and white. She does not join the roast line.

Elizabetta, a disapproving lady-in-waiting, Lily, an aloof lady-in-waiting, Valor, a small brown and white corgi puppy, Clark, an exasperated guard arrive, following Sabella.

3 Thrax Guards, Carys, a slight woman with ink-stained fingers arrive, following Caith.

Reese arrives while adorned in her normal pink. She lifts her gaze to the carried bed, seemingly surprised. She glances over the area trying to get a sense for the setting here and has a smile of greeting for the many she knows.

Violet was likely the reason Felicia was here. As she arrived with a much bigger smile next to the tall red head. "Oooo, roasted pheasant. Fancy," She comments as they find a table. And when Saoirse rides in she stares and gives a short chuckle, pulling out Felicia's seat and bowing dramatically to her. It's all in fun of course.

Jaenelle has left the Alcove By the Stairs.

Jaenelle has joined the Darkened Alcove.

Eirene has joined the Comfortable Crown Couches.

Alaric has left the Green Table.

Jaenelle has left the Darkened Alcove.

Jaenelle has joined the Alcove By the Stairs.

3 Thrax Guards arrives, following Coraline.

Kit, the grey fox, a tiny man with a BIG unpronounceable name, 1 Greenmarch Guard, Coraline arrive, following Monique.

Felicia just eyes Violet and then snorts for her pulling out her chair, returning the bow with one of her own before dropping into the pro-offered seat and pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Foregoing the w(h)ine entirely as she drags Violet into a seat.

"So then I said that he needed to go catch a fish and present it to me and so he showed and gave me this!" Sabella is chattering to Caith as they come walking in together. She turns her head so the Thrax Princess can see the purple silk flower in her hair, "Isn't it amazing? So clever! Honestly, when he told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands I was pretty much expecting him to hand me a real fish and I wasn't quite decided on whether or not a live fish or a dead fish would be worse so this was way, way better than either of those options!"

Alaric shrugs lightly at Lumen before elegantly rising and bringing along his wine goblet. "I did just remark it looked comfortable," he notes affably to Saoirse as he strides over to the bed and casual as you please settles in on top. "See you all in three years," he says before closing his eyes. After a moment, he opens one and eyes Saoirse sidelong. "If I fall asleep for real, do they have to end early?" he inquires casually.

"And I swear I should get some of that singing fruit, maybe it would make a really trippy party favor or something. And hey it definitely made them sing and dance a lot better than it should." Cora is saying to Monique as they arrive together. "Though some of what they got up to when they were eating it isn't fit for public conversation." Is that a blush? Yep, yep it is. "Maybe I won't go back for any come to think of it."

Lumen watches Alaric's migration with vague amusement, looking dramatically to the ceiling as he starts threatening to fall back asleep. That is, until conversation at the table pulls her attention back.

How the world is not exploding from peak-maximum sunshine and happiness due to Sabella and Caith being in such close proximity to each other is a mystery -- A MYSTERY! But somehow, everything remains on its axis, the planets continue to turn in their orbits and gravity keeps everything in place. FOR NOW. The Thrax princess admires the Grayson royal's silk /fish/ with plenty of 'ooo's and 'aaaaah's. "It's lovely," she comments with a nod. "And it is a good thing that it wasn't a real fish, dead or alive. Because I would bet anything that if it were the case, it would have been his pelican that retrieved it for him and .. well .. " That's a visual right there. Niklas with his arm down the bird's throat. Oof.

Laughter. Monique arrives with laughter in her eyes and leaving her lips. "I should think that's even more of an incentive," the Greenmarch beauty tells Coraline. "After all, wouldn't you want to know what it tastes like, Cora?" She lowers her voice to murmur something else, eyes dancing.

Eirene has some of the ribs. She could stand to put more meat on hers, even if the fact she's pregnant is starting to show even with the layers of steelsilk and leather. It's food and drink for her, not socializing with anyone outside of a grunt of hello and a lift of her chin. She snorts at Alaric getting (back) into bed.

As people settle into places and are served by the assorted Josh-es wandering around, Saoirse turns to face Alaric. "I think making fun of an unconscious person really saps the joy out of it for everyone," the princess concludes.

"I do want to say thank you all for coming, I know we tend to get caught up in a lot of rah-rah, The Compact! enthusiasm, especially around wartime. Or in announcements. Weddings. Births. Announcing when various noble couples are having sex...

But here, this evening, we're going to celebrate something else. Stories of ineptitude, miscalculation." Saoirse holds out her hands as if to open the floor. Please don't make me do this all by myself!

Bliss steps in and quickly steps off to the side, crossing her arms around her waist with an expectant smile on her face. It doesn't look like she has a lot to add right now and isn't heading for the food, just here to watch.

Jev glances about at all the puns and guesses, "Is this a worshipping of the Queen of Endings?" He waves to a few of the Joshes walking by. "I'm Jev."

Aureth says, "Our Lady of Terrible Puns is very appreciative of this kind of thing."

Derovai and Wynna are having a quiet conversation in the shadowy corner, but when Sabella enters, Derovai visibly sighs to himself, moving to pinch the bridge of his nose briefly, eyes widening for a second as he visibly steels his nerve. Still, he calls over to Sabella, "You owe me a drink later on -- something harder than this," with a nod to his wineglass.

Jev quries Aureth. "You mean her?" pointing at Saoirse.

Aureth says, "No."

Lisebet glances over to watch as Saoirse starts the speeches off, with amusement. Her gaze then goes back to the table she's seated at, and she continues a soft conversation there, as the opportunity presents.

Sabella grimaces briefly, then laughs, linking arms with Caith and looking around. "What do you think, should we eat first or where should we sit?" If only Derovai were sitting somewhere with more spaces, as that seemed like an invitation! "Master Voss! Of course. Should we not all laugh ourselves to death here tonight." She gives smiles and waves to those she knows and then says to Caith, "Are you any good at mean puns? I'm afraid I'm only very good at very bad ones."

That blush goes a lot darker at the question and Cora practically chokes on air in her answer, "N..No! Not even remotely interested." Though her eyes are highly amused and she is laughing as well. "And don't even ask where it is, now I really won't tell you and I doubt you could get it out of me!"

Aureth rolls his shoulders in a languid way, scrubbing a hand at the back of his neck as he surveys the room. "Are all of you just too shy to go first or did really /nobody/ bring any material?" he asks. He drains his wine glass in one long swallow.

Jaenelle suddenly looks flustered as she continues to speak to Leona, quite animated in her hushed words with her sister. There is a brief, very short glance towards the front and the going ons before her focus is once more to her twin. "Do you not wish to tell everyone that the King got his large head stuck in your helmet?" Because really, who has the dirt on the King? The King's Own.

"Then it sounds like you're volunteering to go first and get the ball going," Katarina calls toward Aureth. "Go on, Archlector! No pressure!"

Jev says, "What are we doing first?"

"Stories," Saoirse continues, referencing the ineptitude discussed a second or two ago, "like what the hell is growing on your face, Your Majesty? The entire fashionable contingent of the Lyceum has been abuzz about how to tell you that a beard is terrifically out of vogue, though I think they're just worried about people hiding poisons in facial hair."

Leona looks at her sister levelly. "I am not accustomed to breaking any of His Majesty's confidences. Besides, that wasn't my helm so I'm not surprised it didn't fit."

Aureth has joined the line.

Jev scratches his head. "The structural tension of a beard couldn't really hold a vial. It might stick for a moment but would surely fall out the bottom as foot steps were taken."

Eirene points at the buffet. "I'm just here for free booze," she admits dryly, lifting a glass of wine in toast with a smirk.

"HEY! BEARDS ARE SEXY!" Violet shouts towards Saoirse from where she sits. "PEACHFUZZ, not so much..." Then she drinks her whiskey,

The red coated form of Gareth Grayson is seated by himself at the Grayson couches. Cane laid across his lap, staring blankly at the King and the rest of the room. He is ready for humor. :|

Monique casts a knowing look to Coraline that isn't meant to reassure the other woman in any way, shape or form. "I feel almost entirely certain that I could. That sounds like a challenge, in fact," she murmurs lightly. "But for tonight, shall we find a place to sit? Oh, look! My cousin Cullen is over at the Green table. Let's join them?"

Saoirse lifts a hand when Violet shouts. "Redrain shagginess does not fashion dictate," the princess says with a faintly quirked smirk.

Derovai continues his back and forth with Wynna for a moment. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem very funny. Still, he's grinning when he looks up towards Sabella, and quite brightly at that. "I hope your jokes indeed kill, Princess Sabella," he fires back at her. "Of course, once we finally get to hear them."

Lisebet's lips quirk in a bit of a smile, as she listens. "I have no stories to tell," she admits. "I'm hear to learn all about them." Well, that's something at least from the usually quiet lady.

"You do realize that sounds terrifying right?" Cora asks with a grin, "Sure, we can head over for a bit though I have to head off for that Solace thing in a moment. I should be back before this is over though." she heads over with Monique to say hi to Cullen at least.

Turn in line: Aureth

There is a grin appearing on Jaenelle's face as she looks innocently at Leona regardless of her comment. The talk of the beard has that smile growing just slightly, but she is content to not turn her head to see.

"What can I say, I've decided to give the partisans of a less clean-shaven look their time in the sun," Alaric admits lightly. "The King does represent the entire breadth of the Compact, after all." He points and winks at Violet before having a sip of wine.

Oh no! They are linking arms! They are POWERING UP! Form of .. Perky Princess Pyramid of Power! Any second now, they are bound to start assaulting people with hugs and then it will be madness. Pure madness, I say! Caith laughs lightly before shaking her head. "I have to admit, I am not very good at being mean. It just seems so .. so .. " What's the word for it? "Mean!" Yes, Caith. Being mean is so mean. Brilliant observation, that. "Maybe after I get a few drinks in me though, it will all come to me a bit more easily. Oh, look at Gareth there. He looks like he needs some cheering up." As the duo glides over toward Derovai, the Thrax royal wiggles fingers in greeting at the scarred Inquistor in passing.

Monique has joined the Green Table.

Coraline has joined the Green Table.

Aureth runs his fingertips along his own beard, considering Alaric with the slide of his pale glance. "I just presumed he was trying to follow a good example," he says, and takes a long swallow from the glass he brought up with him when he went to join the line. "Really? None of you are following me up here? This crowd is fucking dead tonight." He smiles very widely as he says this. Because his sense of humor gets worse the longer he has this job. "So let's see what we can do to tickle our funny bones, shall we? The first time I met His Majesty, he didn’t have much to say; you could say that Death had his tongue? As it happens, though, speaking of stiffs, I know a lady who loves a joke as much as the next fella. See, it was high time he got outta bed, so I told him I had a bone to pick, and so did my army of skeletons. I don’t know that he was really listening, but I’ve gotta say that the next time I saw him he looked much more lively.” Aureth is clearly entertaining himself, if no one else, with this string of awful puns. "I know all of this is pretty hair-raising, but if you wait long enough, the end is sure to come."

Monique pouts up at Coraline, but it's a smiling pout. "Of course. Jeffeth would have my head if I were to make you late, and if there's anyone big enough to instill the fear of that possibility, it's him." She leads Coraline over to the table, waving to her cousin and the others.

"To be fair, they probably can't HEAR over all the animals in here," Saoirse says to Aureth as he shames the crowd. "We have laws on the books about the number of standing armies and soldiers, but I think people have just replaced them with," a small tabby slinks around Saoirse's feet, "house pets that don't stay in houses."

Finger waving at those at the table, Cora grins, "Good to see you all, and for those I don't know...hi! I am afraid I have to simply say hello and run sadly but will return of course." She winks at Monique, "Don't wanna have my knight mad at you, or me come to think of it."

Reese looks over to Aureth as he speak and she is amused. She waves to Cullen, smiles to Monique and starts to make her way toward a couch. She waves to Cora as well. "He is pretty good." She says, seeming of Aureth.

Reese has joined the Grayson Royal Couches.

Synder The Wolfhound arrives, following Barric.

Sabella beams at Caith, now that seems like a good idea! "Prince Gareth! Have you got a tome full of jokes for tonight? I do have a few I might try..." She glances over to Alaric then back to Gareth, "But, you did remind me of the dangers of being disavowed today and I do want him to let me have my party here so. Maybe I'll write them down for Master Voss and he can do them instead!"

Barric has joined the Grayson Royal Couches.

Wynna is neatly sequestered away in the dark corner with Derovai - despite present company, she looks far more comfortable there than she might be somewhere more prestigious.

Violet sticks her tongue out playfully at Saoirse. Turning to start showing her savage Redrain side as she lays into her ROASTed pheasant.

Eirene rolls her eyes as she stands up. "Chickenshits the lot of you," she says with a smirk. She raises her hand to go next if called on. Someone has to.

Eirene has joined the line.

Turn in line: Eirene

Barric arrives a bit late, raking his hands through his hair as if trying to get himself put together but it could just be that his hair is damp. He takes a look around at all of the people and then makes his way over towards the pair of cousins at the Grayson Couches. A wry smile is given towards Gareth and Reese, but it is the latter whom he sits next to and reaches over to give her a one armed hug. "Cousins."

"Be careful," Aureth returns with a salute of his glass. "My bird will try to kill and eat the smaller ones." He favors Alaric and Alaric's bed with one of his brightest, most boyish smiles, and sketches an elaborate bow to him for all the world as though he has paid him a high compliment via terrible mockery, before turning to drift back towards his original seat.

"Well...I have less of a sense of human even than almost all Graysosn, but I guess I can try." Reese says looking toward Eirene and then toward the empty line. She seems to be thinking hard. She almost looks like she has a headache!

Monique reaches out in an attempt to give Coraline a *gasp* hug before she can escape, and murmur something.

Alaric snickers cheerfully through Aureth's gauntlet of puns, raising his wine glass to him afer making it through it all. "Well said, Archlector!"

Reese leans over to Barric, returning his hug. "Prince Barric." She greets. He gets a smile too.

Reese is overheard praising Aureth for: All the puns.

Lumen is overheard praising Aureth for: [pity laughter]

With a smile at those at the table, Cora bows, "I will be back as soon as possible, don't do anything I wouldn't do while I am gone." She grins then heads on out.

Coraline has left the Green Table.

3 Thrax Guards leaves, following Coraline.

The Malvici clears her throat. "Right So... what do you get when you cross Alaric with and elf? I don't know but it's the next damn monarch. No, wait. What do you when Alaric CROSSES an elf? He's sent to his room to take a nap." She snorts in dry amusement and takes a drink of her wine. "Enough about the King. I mean, I could go on about him but it's a real snorer. How about the queen. She's a ray of sunshine. Literal. Fucking. Ray. Have you seen her? She knows how to light up a room." She snorts at her own joke. "Anyhow - here's to Alaric. The man who has both been fucked over by and -literally- by our elven allies. Long may he stay awake."

Noticing Princess Reese enter the Hall, Cullen gives her a friendly wave from his spot and smiles, offering the same to Princess Katarina now that he's looking up from the table briefly.

Gareth looks somewhat bewildered as Reese and then Barric join him, arching his scarred brow at the pair. "Princess Reese. Prince Barric." To Reese's comment, Gareth waves a dismissive hand. "You don't have to." The red coated Inquisitor states quietly. He looks up at Caith and Sabella looming in their joyous way before looking over to Barric and Reese, back to Sabella and Caith.

The crippled prince just lowers his head slighlty, growing even more quiet than usual.

Katarina widens her eyes at the Malvici's roast, immediately falling into a fit of giggles. She raises her wine glass, conveniently refilled by a passing Josh, to join in the toast. "Long live the King!"

Reese woots at Eirene's words. "Oh, she is clever." She comments.

Reese is overheard praising Eirene for: Eirene is always clever in any situation

"Well, if he /doesn't/ live long, we're sure making it /seem/ longer," Aureth pipes up despite the fact that it is no longer his turn.

Reese has joined the line.

Leona turns her attention to Eirene as she roasts the King, and her expression is neutral - until she extends it to the Queen, and then her eyes go cold before she returns her attention to her sister.

Reese has as a smile of greeting for Gareth that touches her eyes. She nods in response to his words, but she still gets into line. It still looks like she thinking is overly hard. Her expression is one of consternation.

Fiora's heeled boots beat a regular rhythm on the floor that goes along with the confident sway of her hips and her long stride. "You forgot the part where he's so needy that even though he's the fucking King, he's still so desperate for attention that he's begging people to make fun of him," she deadpans to Eirene. "Like a kid who'll eat worms if it gets the popular kids to pay attention."

Alaric laughs brightly through Eirene's spiel, raising his goblet at the end. "Very nice, Lady Eirene!" he declares with a few residual chuckles.

Zane, a tall and silent servant arrives, following Venturo.

Eirene calls to Aureth. "Pretty good list of jokes you SPUN out there. But this night is going to be really short if it's it just you and I." She either ignores Leona's glare or doesn't care. Both are likely. She bows to the King and goes back to the pun-derful buffet.

Derovai listens to Eirene's roast, his brows lifting, as he breaks off his quiet conversation with Wynna. He studies the room, half-smiling at Alaric's declaration, leaning back on the wall of his shadowy corner and sipping his wine. Something said at the quiet corner makes him grin a little further, shrugging at the Scholar nearby him.

"Is the line messing you up?" Saoirse says to the room at large when Aureth comments OUT OF TURN. "Fuck the line then, just one liner your way to comedic gold."

Turn in line: Reese

A messenger arrives for Gareth, and there is a soft exhale of a sigh. Relief. Reese stands up to deliver her jokes and Gareth is using his cane to quickly leverage himself to his feet and is retreating quickly, giving a little dismissive wave to Caith and Sabella. Business calls!

Gareth has left the Grayson Royal Couches.

3 Armed Confessors, Confessor Dunn, 1 Grayson Guardsmen, Confessor Wick, Confessor John leave, following Gareth.

The Thrax princess' attention flits back and forth between her present company -- Sabella, Gareth -- and the punny speakers roasting the king. Caith lifts her hand to her lips, stifling a giggle here and there. Snorting at this and that. One of the Joshes wander past and she snags a drink! ZOINK! And passes it promptly to Sabella. She will get another Josh on his next turn about the room, don't you worry.

Turning back to the Inquisitor, she grins widely at the scarred man. Goodness, she could just /hug/ him. But then she blinks, noticing Barric there on the couch with him -- when did he arrive? "Oh, hello," she says -- and seems to be about to say more when another Josh wanders by. ZOINK! She grabs a drink for herself this time. Cheers! She clinks classes with Sabella. After tipping back for a sip, she resumes speaking to .. Gareth is GONE. How a man wit a cane moves so quickly? Who knows!

Sabella has joined the line.

"What line? Are people actually lining up? This crowd is deader than /the fucking graveyard/." Aureth gestures grandiosely.

Slipping into the festivities, Venturo's ears keep a caerful on the actual conversation and roasting, but those pale green eyes flicker around the crowd. A small breath of air released, and then it's onwards, threading through to pick out one of the tables to join.

Venturo has joined the Green Table.

"I suppose if anyone knows, you would," Lisebet murmurs to Aureth.

"Actually the skeletons can be quite lively," Aureth admits in a demure aside, and then gestures hopefully to one of the Joshes to bring him more wine.

Zavi arrives, following Magpie.

As Gareth makes his escape so quickly, Barric chuckles and then looks over towards Reese, speaking quietly to her with a small smile before he is distracted by one Thraxian Princesses. "Princess Caith." He offers with a smile, "Always a pleasure, wish I had enough time to really stay and socialize but I have a previous engagement I must attend shortly." He also smiles towards Sabella, "Cousin."

Fiora gets a drink from a waiter named Josh. Then another waiter named Josh comes by with finger foods, which she declines. Then she passes another waiter named Josh on her way to find a place to lean disinterestedly. "You've got to be shitting me," she mutters under her breath.

Jaenelle notes Leona's expression cooling and says, "what about the time you and His Majesty stole Victus' ship? Poor ship."

Magpie has joined the Great Table.

"Okay, I think I'm gonna do it," Sabella asides to Caith before giving Barric a wave, "Prince Barric! Always a pleasure to see you. Quick, I need more alcohol," she says to a passing server as she hands off the glass she just downed.

Aureth has left the Green Table.

Aureth has joined the Great Table.

"Borrowed," Leona corrects distractedly. "We gave it back."

Eirene smirks at Aureth, nodding in shared agreement. "Yeah, been in morgues with more talkative corpses," she deadpans. "But we kicked this shindig off. Not sure that's a good or bad thing." She leans back on her couch, crossing her legs at the thigh with a foot atop her knee. She balances her tray of nibbles on it.

Aureth takes up his new glass of wine and switches tables when he sees Magpie claim a seat, toasting with his wine glass as he moves. He isn't terribly subtle about greeting his cousin with a massive bear hug, either. Glomp.

Lisebet shakes her head briefly to Aureth. "I think I'll take your word for it, about the skeletons. I had enough trouble with pinning a leg on a spider, after all."


Sabella has joined the Grayson Royal Couches.

Better late than never? Does anyone notice or care that Magpie Grayhope is slipping into the event way past fashionably late? The man makes his way to a table, dropping into a chair and looking around curiously. Before the man can really decide how he feels about the event, Aureth is grabbing him into that big hug. A smile breaks on the sailor's face and some of the tension on his face smooths over. "Hey cousin..."

Reese makes her way to the start of the hall and it still looks like she is thinking. The more empathic might believe she doesn't have a joke planned at all. She gives Alaric a smile that is friendly, not seeming at all like the smile of one who is about to roast or maybe it is exactly that kind of smile. "So the king is a great man." She starts sounding sincere, and like she hasn't got around to any jokes yet. "And I think he likes people to tell jokes about him or maybe he just doesn't mind them. Lots of people would mind them. It doesn't make him very Graysony not to mind." Still not much funniness! She then peeks over to Aureth, nodding and giving him a smile, maybe jokes will come if she looks at him long enough! She looks back to Alaric "He does lots of really important stuff like painting, going to bars, drinking booze, getting presents, engaging in sexy ass contests at Grayson dinner parties. I covered my eyes during that cause he is my cousin and eww..but I hear he did well. Anyways very important kingly stuff and he sometimes gives hugs too and he makes important kingly decisions too and there are Alaric dolls. So yay, the king!"

She tips back her glass and winks at Barric. "You always do," Caith replies and then gives her head a small shake. "No worries. I figure we will get to speak sometime once we are both old and grey. I even have it marked in my calendar: 'Meeting with Prince Barric, September 20, 1048 AR'. I look forward to it!" As Sabella plucks up her courage, the Thrax princess ooooos. "You can do it," she says encouragingly, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet -- but not enough so to spill her drink. She /is/ a lady, after all. "Roast him like he has never been roasted before!"

Saoirse stares blankly at Reese as she talks. Is -- is the Velenosa gaping? Maybe a little. CRICKETS. "Okay! Uh. Somebody get Reese way more drunk and teach her how to make fun of people and policies."

Eirene waits for Reese to get to it. And waits. And waits. "And? Ribbons, you get points for trying," she calls at the princess. "You need Luca to teach you how to insult someone."

Monique cheers loudly for Reese, breaking off only to greet Venturo's recent arrival with a welcoming smile.

Another late entry to the party, but fashionably so, is Vitalis Mazetti. The young Mazetti Lord is outfitted in his highest quality leathers, with his long black hair swept back from his face and styled neatly. Grey eyes sweep the room carefully before he begins attempting to discretely make his way along to join a table with as little disturbance to the goings on as he can.

Alaric awws at Reese. "I very much appreciate that you're the only person who will ever call my painting important, Reese," he says with another raise of his goblet.

Sabella puts a hand over her heart and awwwwwwww at Reese, "That was the sweetest not at all getting what tonight is all about speech that I have ever heard. You're the best, Reese!"

Vitalis has joined the Gray Table.

Serena, a charming lady-in-waiting, 3 Grimhall House Guards arrive, following Vanora.

Barric chuckles at what Reese says and claps afterwards, because Reese definitely tried to mock the King there! She really did! He looks over towards Caith, "If you weren't always surrounded by dozens of people Princess, we could arrange it much more easily. As it is I think I shall have to draw blade on people just to chase them away sometime so we can have that conversation." He stands up from his couch where he was sitting with Reese and then steps away. "Soon Princess. Soon. You will be mine." He teases Caith on his way towards the exit.

Barric has left the Grayson Royal Couches.

Synder The Wolfhound leaves, following Barric.

Reese's cheeks are just a bit pink as she returns to find a place to sit. She smiles over to Alaric as he speaks of his paintings. She then waves to Barric.

Magpie has joined the line.

Turn in line: Sabella

"Hello everyone!" Sabella greets when it is indicated that it's her turn, smiling brightly around at those in the room, but especially up at Alaric. "It's so nice to see so many people here to celebrate the king. Now, I think everyone is aware that Alaric was trapped in a deep sleep for many years. But, what you may not know is that he's awake now!" Smile, smile. "And you know, just the other day someone once told me that Alaric was the most boring King we've ever had." she pauses. "There is no punchline." And then she goes to sit back down.

Alaric starts to snicker at Sabella's non-punchline punchline. "Very astute, Sabella," he declares with a raise of his goblet.

Turn in line: Magpie

Derovai scratches the back of his neck, his quiet conversation continuing, although he punctuates it with a long sip of wine. "That was a sleeper hit, Your Highness," he calls over a bit archly to Sabella, before turning back to his quiet conversation, gaze cast out towards the room for a second before it turns back to Wynna.

Arriving late, under dressed, and with a sleepy expression... Lord Arik doesn't seem to be the best guest but he is at least quiet while making an entrance and diverting to a nice and crowded spot in the room instead of lurking about by himself. He does snag a bit of TOASTed bread and begins to munch on it happily, crumbs getting into his beard.

Arik has joined the Green Table.

Saoirse waits -- oh! there's no zinger at the end. That's the bit! She smiles just slightly and adds, "When a good chunk of your reign is spent sleeping... Hey," she turns to Alaric as if remembering something, "are we finally out of the backlog of bureaucratic paperwork that caused? Things got so backed up..."

Magpie gets to his feet and takes a moment to stretch, then hops up onto his chair. "Hey everyone! I see a lot of nobility I know here. Magpie Grayhope. I'm actually a member of the Crown. You might not realize it, because I'm a commoner. While everyone else in the Crown is sitting around doing nothing, I'm one of the ones actually out there doing the work." He explains. "I mean, maybe I'm wrong about that, but us Deputy Ministers don't actually get invited to any of the meetings." A pause, "Well, no. I can't criticize all the groups. The King's Own is obviously doing their job because His Highness is still alive... At least I think so. He actually has a sense of humor and that makes me seriously question if he's the real king and not some imposter zombie that the Archlector of Death dressed up in fancy clothes and put in his place."

"The Inquisition? I think they're doing their job too? ... If their job is locking up all of the wrong people to narrow down that one person that they're actually after. I've never seen so many prodigals rounded up *so* quickly. And let's not even get into the bunnies. I guess we all got to be inquisitors for a day or two, arresting bunny rabbits." He looks around thoughtfully, seeing who else is in the crowd.

Reese smiles over to Sabella as her joke is given. "Oh, I guess there must have been alot of paper work when he wokeu p. I am sure I sent him like twenty messages while he was sleeping." She adds. She then lifts her gaze to Magpie. She has a sheepish smile at the mention of arresting bunny rabbits. "But they are dangerously cute." She says.

Leaning against a pillar somewhere, Fiora fixes Magpie with her disinterested gaze while he roasts; this, finally, brings the left corner of her mouth to quirk upward a little bit, although the smile isn't even in the same zip code as her eyes.

Vitalis has left the Gray Table.

A snow owl named Valge arrives, delivering a message to Wynna before departing.

Sabella grins at Reese, "I'm sure there was, since with the King asleep all the other members of his retinue took time off. I expect they'll be back eventually, when someone tells them that he's actually awake now. But since they're all on leave, there's no one to write the message and no one to deliver it and have you ever actually seen Alaric write anything down? Or read?"

Alaric grins at Magpie's entry into the parade of monologues. "-Would- you dress me up like this, or is this insufficiently flashy for a zombie?" he asks Aureth offhandedly.

"Your secret's out," Saoirse asides to Alaric. "We all know the Sleep was just a ruse for illiteracy."

"Dangerously cute? I guess so. Where I grew up animals were for eating, not keeping as pets. And really, what's with all the pets? Are you trying to prove to the city that you can't raise your kids, and you don't care about feeding the poor, but you sure have the prettiest animals to follow you all around?" Magpie asks of no one in particular. "Oh wait, we're talking about the Crown, not nobility. Not that you can really tell the difference. There are what, less than five commoners in the Crown ministry? The king had to specifically make a group *called* the Commoner's Council just to prove to the population that we have some. You can all pat yourselves on the back over *that* decision. Don't worry though! Our sovereign leader has your interests at heart. Just the other day I wrote to the king asking for funds to give a stipend to all the prodigals that joined the Compact, to help them feel a part of the kingdom. I've never *had* the king respond so quickly to my letters. He was very witty with his denial though." He drops into his seat again so Aureth can address the zombie question.

Alaric has joined the line.

Aureth leans back in his seat, stretching out his feet beneath the table and folding his arms in a loose cross behind his head. He contemplates Alaric's gear and then says, "Honestly the zombies shed enough pieces of themselves there's no way they'd manage to stay so clean."

Turn in line: Alaric

Eirene calls to Magpie, "You gotta keep SOME comedy in there, yo."

It hard to say what, exactly, but SOMETHING Magpie says gets an unladylike snort from Fiora. She takes a drink.

Reese looks over to Sabella, nodding in response to her words and for a moment she looks all serious. "I don't know if I have, but his messenger zooms around all over the city." She says, before looking over the king and his outfit. "I think you look well dressed, King Alaric." She adds. She then smiles and looks suddenly pleased with herself. "He probably could draw pictures and send them out in places of letters!." She says, looking all pleased with her that she thought of a joke.

Derovai lets out a low whistle at something Magpie says, but he replies in even tones to something Wynna said, still unmoving from his vantage point.

"Thank you, Master Magpie!" Alaric declares regally as he gets up off the bed and strolls to the front. Public speaking whlie lying down is just lazy. "And thank you Princess Saoirse, for suggesting this event and handling all the organizational details. I confess I wasn't sure beforehand how this all was going to go, having never been to one of these roasts, let along the subject of one. But I figured in the old Grayson spirit of exploration I'd give it a try, and do you know I'm very happy I attended tonight! The next time I'm stuck in some dull, seemingly ceaseless meeting or a terrible cursed coma for several years I'll think to myself, 'at least I'm not at that roast'."

Alaric says, "I'm teasing, of course; it's always nice to have a break from the constant work of ruling the Compact. Conferencing with the peers, attending update briefings from the Ministries, neverending messengers to read and reply to, and that's all even before I get to knighting every single last one of Victus' pets."

"That would explain the paintings," Sabella nods sagely to Reese and has a drink.

Eirene thumbs up at the pet comment, smirking in amusement.

Lumen is overheard praising Alaric for: [regal pity laughter]

Alaric says, "I had my concerns about approving this roast when it was pitched to me, though. Some advised me a roast of the Crown such as this is itself disrespectful. The Crown is a symbol of our great Compact, after all, and many of the finest Arvians have honorably fought and sacrificed to protect and preserve it. They said that by extension therefore it trivializes some of the noblest ideals at the heart of our society."

Alaric says, "I respect these opinions, but I disagree. The Queen of Endings would remind us that one of the most worthwhile gifts of life is the ability to laugh. Besides, anyone who thinks we don't spend all kinds of time trivializing noble ideals in Arx hasn't read popular excerpts from the White Journals recently."

Reese is overheard praising Saoirse for: Hosting the Roast

Magpie gives Eirene a charming smile and a shrug, then he laughs as Alaric gets up to throw in his part. There's a supportive clapping of hands when he makes fun of the roast itself, then falls into more snickers as the king gets on a roll.

Eirene is overheard praising Alaric for: Damn fine sense of humor

Alaric says, "But really, what good -is- victory over the evils of the world if we've lost the ability to laugh in the process? It is the great equalizer amongst all humanity; high born or low, we -all- love to laugh. Except for Duke Arn."

The line has been dismissed by Saoirse.

Alaric says, "I bet that some of you thought I was going to say Duke Gabriel. Not so! I did in fact see him laugh once. Just the once, though, sometime back in 996 or so."

"And a handful of Keatons," Saoirse drolls from across the room. To herself? To YOU? To all.

Felicia settles back in her seat, the first genuine smile of the knight on her face as she listens to Alaric.

Alaric says, "Still, I think it is not just for our family and friends, our lieges and vassals themselves that we continue to stand strong, giving our all and bleeding together as a Compact. It is so that we might smile and laugh with them, that we might share in joys and sorrows with them, that we might experience the world together with them that we strive as we do."

Leona calls from the back of the room, "I think you forgot Harald, Majesty. Pretty sure he'd rather have his lips sewn shut than smile."

Rising from the Green Table, Venturo's arm is offered out to Monique, the woman not looking quite herself, as if she might faint. It's a slow set of steps that take them out of the great hall.

Extending her arm, Lumen lifts her glass to Alaric's words.

Venturo has left the Green Table.

Monique has left the Green Table.

Kit, the grey fox, a tiny man with a BIG unpronounceable name, 1 Greenmarch Guard leave, following Monique.

Zane, a tall and silent servant, Monique leave, following Venturo.

Caith is engaged in a very quiet conversation with her gal-pal, Carys, and is whispering up a storm! Every once in a while, she holds up a finger to pause the discussion, pick up her head and laugh -- HA! -- but then she is back at it: psst-psst-psst. But when Alaric talks about knighting Victus' pets, her blonde head pops up and her eyes are bright! And hopeful! Could there be a Sir Stumphrey Waddles-a-Lot in the future?! MAYBE?! POSSIBLY! I mean, if knighthoods are being given out....

Alaric says, "And so I encourage you all after you leave tonight to think of the things we all share as members of the Compact of Arvum; the joy of laughter, the desire to maintain our freedom, the pride in our independence, our respect for the Pantheonic virtues, and the universal belief that Princess Saoirse ought to be fired." He grins roguishly and raises his goblet. "Thank you all for attending tonight, and enjoy the rest of your very serious feast!"

"Completely universal," Saoirse quips as she too lifts a glass to toast the end of the evening.

Reese looks over to the king, giving him a smile. "Oh, well said." She then turns to Saoirse. "I don't think you should be fired, princess Saorise."

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