Written By Apollo
Jan. 31, 2024, 9:08 p.m.(8/27/1021 AR)
Tonight I put back on my shelves and drawers and walls:
A copper talisman for wearing in the hair, that was given me as a gift on a journey north by frightened Abandoned; poetry about what grief grows in the dark, and one such bloom; a painting of me, given unasked; jewelry, from a woman who will always inspire. A box of spices from a city I'll likely never visit again. A lover's handkerchief I've had near a decade. A favor from a wedding of a friend I haven't seen in half as long. Masks never worn to a masquerade, that tell a story I no longer believe. Gifts given when our children was born. Art done for the king, and signed with his hand. The sign that once hung over my shop. A decoration made to remember a town settled and sworn. The first sketch my wife ever made of me.
We've lost so much. And my heart hurts for it, it does. But seeing the faces yet alive down below, holding my children when the work was done. Putting all that back. It let me remember that we haven't lost everything. Now, to rest, and remember. Soon, to recover, rebuild.
A copper talisman for wearing in the hair, that was given me as a gift on a journey north by frightened Abandoned; poetry about what grief grows in the dark, and one such bloom; a painting of me, given unasked; jewelry, from a woman who will always inspire. A box of spices from a city I'll likely never visit again. A lover's handkerchief I've had near a decade. A favor from a wedding of a friend I haven't seen in half as long. Masks never worn to a masquerade, that tell a story I no longer believe. Gifts given when our children was born. Art done for the king, and signed with his hand. The sign that once hung over my shop. A decoration made to remember a town settled and sworn. The first sketch my wife ever made of me.
We've lost so much. And my heart hurts for it, it does. But seeing the faces yet alive down below, holding my children when the work was done. Putting all that back. It let me remember that we haven't lost everything. Now, to rest, and remember. Soon, to recover, rebuild.
Written By Aconite
Jan. 31, 2024, 7:01 p.m.(8/27/1021 AR)
I've not yet reached the stars.
But I've come very close.
I may have to die satisfied with that.
My regrets are few but enormous.
I did not tell him I loved him. More than anything.
I forgot to tell my friends I loved them before they returned to the wheel.
I let my best friend slip away and have not made up the time I lost.
I have spent too many days sulking in my room and forgetting to be grateful for this life I was given, the freedoms I was gifted when I came to this land.
I have sometimes forgotten about the beauty in all things, even that which is painful.
I hope what I have contributed to this dream has meant something.
Every one of you that I have met for even a moment gave me a glimpse of your color in the kaleidoscope of life. I have loved you for your color.
But I've come very close.
I may have to die satisfied with that.
My regrets are few but enormous.
I did not tell him I loved him. More than anything.
I forgot to tell my friends I loved them before they returned to the wheel.
I let my best friend slip away and have not made up the time I lost.
I have spent too many days sulking in my room and forgetting to be grateful for this life I was given, the freedoms I was gifted when I came to this land.
I have sometimes forgotten about the beauty in all things, even that which is painful.
I hope what I have contributed to this dream has meant something.
Every one of you that I have met for even a moment gave me a glimpse of your color in the kaleidoscope of life. I have loved you for your color.
Written By Jasher
Jan. 31, 2024, 6:19 p.m.(8/27/1021 AR)
There will be a tomorrow, or there will be not. It may be that this White Journal would never see the public eye, but I will do my duty to Vellichor before midnight.
It seems the Reckoning is upon us again. The sky is thick with demons. Blood pours in place of rain. Azazel comes to Arx with his hunger and an army of shards to sate himself upon what lies past the Thinnest Point. There are allies: dragons, the primasen, mages, all once thought myth who have now come to stand beside us in our darkest hour. I would be inclined to marvel and learn save that the sentiment is best left for the tomorrow yet to be. Now, I only hope that what we have, what is come here, is enough to bring that tomorrow.
Today, there will be a storm ahead. The water is dark and the waves rough, but I am ready.
I will sail.
It seems the Reckoning is upon us again. The sky is thick with demons. Blood pours in place of rain. Azazel comes to Arx with his hunger and an army of shards to sate himself upon what lies past the Thinnest Point. There are allies: dragons, the primasen, mages, all once thought myth who have now come to stand beside us in our darkest hour. I would be inclined to marvel and learn save that the sentiment is best left for the tomorrow yet to be. Now, I only hope that what we have, what is come here, is enough to bring that tomorrow.
Today, there will be a storm ahead. The water is dark and the waves rough, but I am ready.
I will sail.
Written By Tesha
Jan. 31, 2024, 5:03 p.m.(8/27/1021 AR)
At the end of things, I want you to know that you are loved.
Written By Fairen
Jan. 31, 2024, 4 p.m.(8/27/1021 AR)
Scholarship is, at its core, a confluence of cognition, inspiration, and persistence. I pray my work at cultivating all three of these qualities does honor to Vellichor's guidance.
Written By Victus
Jan. 31, 2024, 3:58 p.m.(8/27/1021 AR)
Here we stand, at the end of the world.
My name is Victus Thrax. My love is Alarissa Thrax. My children are Astrid, Danse, Siggy, Delia and Eleyna.
I am not a hero. I just did what I could.
My name is Victus Thrax. My love is Alarissa Thrax. My children are Astrid, Danse, Siggy, Delia and Eleyna.
I am not a hero. I just did what I could.
Written By Aelgar
Jan. 31, 2024, 2:55 p.m.(8/26/1021 AR)
We must apply the Knowledge given us by Lord Vellichor to saving Arx from the current threat By now, nobody with eyes can deny the nature and seriousness of this moment, so let all who can think or move or breathe stand by us for the final battle!
Written By Alarissa
Jan. 31, 2024, 2:39 p.m.(8/26/1021 AR)
We have ridden around the city on horseback. It was hard to depart the estate if even for a few hours. I never know when an attack is going to come again despite that he is routed for the moment. It was hard to go out with minimal armor. I understand now why Victus has worn his near endlessly all these years. I left the guards at home. I have a dragon at my side and if I am not safe with him, then am I safe at all? He had a request. A tour of the city. How long has it been since he has seen it? With his own eyes? A thousand years? I can feel it when he is watching through me. It's not uncomfortable, he is just... there.
But we rode. I showed him the statue of Eleyna and have laid lilies in her hands perhaps for the last time. then we rode onward. Through the places familiar to me, safe for us to go. I brought him to the hall of heroes. That place that I enjoy walking. So he could see the heroes of the centuries. So I could show him Lord Darrow.
I stopped us at Lotties, so he could try what sweets there might be at these times. Places that I knew had not been here when he was. We sat to sup, to sip, to do the thing he requested in these moments between. To listen. We went to the shrines. The faith plays so large a part in my life. So that he might see how they have developed. The old ones, the new ones. We are with Vellichor's right now. I wanted to write in my whites. I encouraged him to write as well, if he would like. As this is the way of Arx. Of Arvum.
After this, I don't know where we will ride. Perhaps we will just ride, plod along and take our time before we return to the estate. No doubt the children are ready to greet him when he comes back. We've a feast set for this night. The servants work as we ride. But all will gather in the hall at our side. For this moment, we are all as one. Or they can gather with their families. It is their choice. But I know, that I will sit with Eleyna at my side and lift my glass for at least another night with those I love.
Maelstrom is destroyed, sacrificed that we may gain the tools needed to drive back evil, to banish it, destroy it. To gain the necessary allies to see another day. It will have been worth it. As sad as it is to say such, it was a necessary thing. We did not have the strength to hold it like the other cities after the civil wars toll. But we have teh strength to hold the city. Much like before, we will bleed, we will hurt, but we will come out the other side victorius. Changed irrevocably, but changed none the less.
But we rode. I showed him the statue of Eleyna and have laid lilies in her hands perhaps for the last time. then we rode onward. Through the places familiar to me, safe for us to go. I brought him to the hall of heroes. That place that I enjoy walking. So he could see the heroes of the centuries. So I could show him Lord Darrow.
I stopped us at Lotties, so he could try what sweets there might be at these times. Places that I knew had not been here when he was. We sat to sup, to sip, to do the thing he requested in these moments between. To listen. We went to the shrines. The faith plays so large a part in my life. So that he might see how they have developed. The old ones, the new ones. We are with Vellichor's right now. I wanted to write in my whites. I encouraged him to write as well, if he would like. As this is the way of Arx. Of Arvum.
After this, I don't know where we will ride. Perhaps we will just ride, plod along and take our time before we return to the estate. No doubt the children are ready to greet him when he comes back. We've a feast set for this night. The servants work as we ride. But all will gather in the hall at our side. For this moment, we are all as one. Or they can gather with their families. It is their choice. But I know, that I will sit with Eleyna at my side and lift my glass for at least another night with those I love.
Maelstrom is destroyed, sacrificed that we may gain the tools needed to drive back evil, to banish it, destroy it. To gain the necessary allies to see another day. It will have been worth it. As sad as it is to say such, it was a necessary thing. We did not have the strength to hold it like the other cities after the civil wars toll. But we have teh strength to hold the city. Much like before, we will bleed, we will hurt, but we will come out the other side victorius. Changed irrevocably, but changed none the less.
Written By Mattheu
Jan. 31, 2024, 2:28 p.m.(8/26/1021 AR)
Relationship Note on Ann
The end of the world is far different from what I thought might have been involved with. I was foolish and sought to grab a hammock which means something to both Ann and I, and it was lost anyways in order to find more strength to continue.
Once upon a time I would have said getting stabbed hurts.
Seeing your spouse both angry and happy at the same time is far worse
Once upon a time I would have said getting stabbed hurts.
Seeing your spouse both angry and happy at the same time is far worse
Written By Denica
Jan. 31, 2024, 11:57 a.m.(8/26/1021 AR)
It's been an honour painting all of you.
Always,
TLDOT
Always,
TLDOT
Written By Harlex
Jan. 31, 2024, 11:37 a.m.(8/26/1021 AR)
You don't get to choose to be born. This is the first act of violence against you.
You are ripped into the world afraid, and I think it's safe to say most don't live in it ever shaking that fear.
We are told the way of things, we are chided for ignoring things, for trying to change things. We meet resistance for every step forward we take, many give up, many press forward.
There have been so many times in my life that I thought I could take the bitterness of it all and wrap it up around my neck and how many lives would I have saved, inadvertently, by this lone act of dark courage?
Yet I remained. I was driven, inexhaustibly, forward by something. By this quiet rage at the pit of my guts.
When I kill, I see the lives and know the names of those dead at my feet. I have seen whole stretches of lives wasted and some not, mothers and sons and daughters and fathers of all statures and character and all rich in textures you cannot fathom.
It has led me to a singular belief. That none of this, none of these things; heroism, cowardice, hate, love, greed or charity -- none of it matters. That we could be the most rotten, wicked, and stupid things ever spat from the mind of our creator, and we should still fight as hard as we have, down to our blood and our bones, until nothing is left.
You have the right to exist, its yours by blood.
Lets remind them that no matter how many times they wipe the slate, churn us to dust and spit out new and clueless babes, that we will find our way here again. Crawling and screaming into infinity.
And that they will break.
And we will always remember.
You are ripped into the world afraid, and I think it's safe to say most don't live in it ever shaking that fear.
We are told the way of things, we are chided for ignoring things, for trying to change things. We meet resistance for every step forward we take, many give up, many press forward.
There have been so many times in my life that I thought I could take the bitterness of it all and wrap it up around my neck and how many lives would I have saved, inadvertently, by this lone act of dark courage?
Yet I remained. I was driven, inexhaustibly, forward by something. By this quiet rage at the pit of my guts.
When I kill, I see the lives and know the names of those dead at my feet. I have seen whole stretches of lives wasted and some not, mothers and sons and daughters and fathers of all statures and character and all rich in textures you cannot fathom.
It has led me to a singular belief. That none of this, none of these things; heroism, cowardice, hate, love, greed or charity -- none of it matters. That we could be the most rotten, wicked, and stupid things ever spat from the mind of our creator, and we should still fight as hard as we have, down to our blood and our bones, until nothing is left.
You have the right to exist, its yours by blood.
Lets remind them that no matter how many times they wipe the slate, churn us to dust and spit out new and clueless babes, that we will find our way here again. Crawling and screaming into infinity.
And that they will break.
And we will always remember.
Written By Medeia
Jan. 31, 2024, 8:52 a.m.(8/26/1021 AR)
It might have been silly to think we could enjoy an evening amid the darkness, but I think many of us learned something valuable while we made our foolish gamble.
I, for one, learned that Azazel has all the fragility of a toddler being told they must away to bed.
Who knew that insisting on using the door and sitting with proper posture could so enrage a being? Oh, he focused his many maws upon me and screamed at me, but I have four children! I will not tolerate petulant screaming just because you're not getting your way.
I, for one, learned that Azazel has all the fragility of a toddler being told they must away to bed.
Who knew that insisting on using the door and sitting with proper posture could so enrage a being? Oh, he focused his many maws upon me and screamed at me, but I have four children! I will not tolerate petulant screaming just because you're not getting your way.
Written By Medeia
Jan. 31, 2024, 8:30 a.m.(8/26/1021 AR)
Relationship Note on Lianne
I didn't want to commit this to parchment before I had a chance to tell her to her face. I finally had that chance.
We walk different paths. But the paths we walk are within the same world, and sometimes they cross and we have opportunities to be reminded of our shared interests and purposes. We may not always be aligned, but there is a reason I accepted her offer of patronage without a second thought: I trust her.
If you believe you can attribute a life saved to me, there is a strong chance that I, in turn, can place some credit at Lianne's feet. This goes all the way back, at least, to when Skal'dajans threatened the Compact. I had a question tickling my mind. All I could do with it was ask it! It was Lianne who heard it, who had the means of turning that question into something usable. If not for her and her collaborators, a group of us wouldn't have been able to empower the rune that went to Pieros and saved lives by making their magic exact a heavy price and effectively taking it from them.
It has always been thus: My questions are encouraged and ideas are honed. While she bestows words like "genius" upon me, I tell you that this genius does not happen alone. It happens because I have had people - including Lianne - supporting it.
I have been her midwife and her protege, so many of our loved ones are shared between us for wholly different but no less genuine reasons, and I know now what I always knew - which changes nothing about her importance and place in my life.
We walk different paths. But the paths we walk are within the same world, and sometimes they cross and we have opportunities to be reminded of our shared interests and purposes. We may not always be aligned, but there is a reason I accepted her offer of patronage without a second thought: I trust her.
If you believe you can attribute a life saved to me, there is a strong chance that I, in turn, can place some credit at Lianne's feet. This goes all the way back, at least, to when Skal'dajans threatened the Compact. I had a question tickling my mind. All I could do with it was ask it! It was Lianne who heard it, who had the means of turning that question into something usable. If not for her and her collaborators, a group of us wouldn't have been able to empower the rune that went to Pieros and saved lives by making their magic exact a heavy price and effectively taking it from them.
It has always been thus: My questions are encouraged and ideas are honed. While she bestows words like "genius" upon me, I tell you that this genius does not happen alone. It happens because I have had people - including Lianne - supporting it.
I have been her midwife and her protege, so many of our loved ones are shared between us for wholly different but no less genuine reasons, and I know now what I always knew - which changes nothing about her importance and place in my life.
Written By Lianne
Jan. 31, 2024, 3:03 a.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
I danced with Lord Onyx at what may well be the end of the world.
I watched him and Fortunato, shadow and lamplight, acknowledge the softness in one another, who they've both chosen to be.
I spent a rare quiet moment on this darkest of days sharing love and tears and a few good drinks with precisely the right people.
I kissed my children and took a bath.
I'm ready. However this story ends, I'm ready.
I watched him and Fortunato, shadow and lamplight, acknowledge the softness in one another, who they've both chosen to be.
I spent a rare quiet moment on this darkest of days sharing love and tears and a few good drinks with precisely the right people.
I kissed my children and took a bath.
I'm ready. However this story ends, I'm ready.
Written By Umbroise
Jan. 31, 2024, 1:13 a.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
In the depths of your greatest fear, you will find your greatest strength. Once you face that fear and come out the other side of it, you Become who you always were. You just had to accept it all along. Then the fear has no power over you.
These past few months, we have faced down the chaos of one existential crisis after another. Each choice made gives rise to consequences unforseen. Yet, we persevere. We remain.
I stand with the defenders of Arx. Should we prevail against our enemy, there may be a price to be paid. There always is.
When the balance is broken, and the pendulum swings too far, the backlash is equal in measure.
Let us not forget it, should we survive.
These past few months, we have faced down the chaos of one existential crisis after another. Each choice made gives rise to consequences unforseen. Yet, we persevere. We remain.
I stand with the defenders of Arx. Should we prevail against our enemy, there may be a price to be paid. There always is.
When the balance is broken, and the pendulum swings too far, the backlash is equal in measure.
Let us not forget it, should we survive.
Written By Denica
Jan. 31, 2024, 12:45 a.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
When the window of opportunity closes, just smash open the glass.
Written By Thesarin
Jan. 30, 2024, 11:52 p.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
Relationship Note on Mia
I saw you'd wrote me to the Whites when we returned. Set down to endure for all time in the rolls, for any who'd seek it out.
I'll answer you the same way, then, and as things are it seems foolish to be aught but honest.
That you love me has been my greatest gift these years, and most days I ain't a notion how it came to be. At my worst I were awful, and at my best I ain't, I know, much better.
I've tried, and that's all I could say. For you, and for ours, I've tried so fucking hard.
I'll answer you the same way, then, and as things are it seems foolish to be aught but honest.
That you love me has been my greatest gift these years, and most days I ain't a notion how it came to be. At my worst I were awful, and at my best I ain't, I know, much better.
I've tried, and that's all I could say. For you, and for ours, I've tried so fucking hard.
Written By Insaya
Jan. 30, 2024, 11:08 p.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
Also for procedural flair I tried to conduct arrest an ancient, all-devouring evil bent on chewing up the Assembly and who may have eaten several noble policy wonks who were just there. Lurking? Loitering. The unarmed (but many-mouthed) assailant resisted the arrest, and fled underground. Pursuit continues.
Written By Insaya
Jan. 30, 2024, 11:01 p.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
The blood rain stopped falling, but the sun did not come up come up. I must have slept through much of the day. If not for Praesodymanin's prompts to stir me, I might have stayed all the day in bed. There were no cockerels to crow over the city; no pigeons cooing as they settle on the roof. There was no one to come and throw a rock at the eaves to rouse me, as I used to pay to have happen. There is no smell of bread baking, or cart wheels turning in the way. Very few babies crying and those far away. There are no bells ringing. Because this is not victory, and nothing which used to be commonplace seems so anymore.
My city is as altered in character for me as everything else. I wanted to show him everything wonderful about Arx, but each time I would take him somewhere, I found myself realizing too late that what I remember is gone, and will never be again.
I tried to not look disheartened before my guest, to take each new reminder of the darkness of these days... but because he is in me as I am in him, I could tell that there is nothing I can conceal from him. He is not without empathy, as I had feared. He is simply so ancient that while all my griefs, joys, loves, fears, and rages are new to me, he has chewed them all over before many times. He knows their savor. He has seen everything before, even this terrible darkness over Arx that seems to be the onrushing end of all things.
No, he tells me, nothing will ever be like it was. Even if we are victorious, and rebuild it all. But that is true of every past and every future, he says. Our lives, while part of a great wheel are more like spokes upon it. We are points on a ray, and along its path (without very extreme circumstances) we can only go forward. While there is melancholy to that thought, he admits, there is also cause for optimism: With each passing moment, there is opportunity to diverge from everything that has come before. And besides, my city was much more beautiful the first time it was nearly destroyed, because...
He forgave me my laughter as he forgave my terror and tears. Because I am young and foolish, and besides, he was only trying to impart some hard won wisdom so that I can someday be tolerable for him to converse with. He let me show him a few places, and because they are different we saw them together as for the first time. He has much to teach me about endurance.
I will try to meet him in the middle distance.
My city is as altered in character for me as everything else. I wanted to show him everything wonderful about Arx, but each time I would take him somewhere, I found myself realizing too late that what I remember is gone, and will never be again.
I tried to not look disheartened before my guest, to take each new reminder of the darkness of these days... but because he is in me as I am in him, I could tell that there is nothing I can conceal from him. He is not without empathy, as I had feared. He is simply so ancient that while all my griefs, joys, loves, fears, and rages are new to me, he has chewed them all over before many times. He knows their savor. He has seen everything before, even this terrible darkness over Arx that seems to be the onrushing end of all things.
No, he tells me, nothing will ever be like it was. Even if we are victorious, and rebuild it all. But that is true of every past and every future, he says. Our lives, while part of a great wheel are more like spokes upon it. We are points on a ray, and along its path (without very extreme circumstances) we can only go forward. While there is melancholy to that thought, he admits, there is also cause for optimism: With each passing moment, there is opportunity to diverge from everything that has come before. And besides, my city was much more beautiful the first time it was nearly destroyed, because...
He forgave me my laughter as he forgave my terror and tears. Because I am young and foolish, and besides, he was only trying to impart some hard won wisdom so that I can someday be tolerable for him to converse with. He let me show him a few places, and because they are different we saw them together as for the first time. He has much to teach me about endurance.
I will try to meet him in the middle distance.
Written By Alarissa
Jan. 30, 2024, 10:23 p.m.(8/25/1021 AR)
I was guardian of his soul before. Now I am a guardian of his life in as much as he is of mine.
We were a tangle of limbs in the bed. The weight of Astrid, Danse, Siggy, Delia and Eleyna upon our legs and in our arms. They have been kept inside, away from windows and we shed armor and bathed before we gathered them up. If this is the last night that we will have with them, then I am glad that it was as such. They know something happens, you cannot hide that from the older ones at least. Astrid champs at the bit to join her father in battle.
I like the lines at the corner of his eyes. I know what they mean. I know that feeling. I hope that there will not be more lines anytime soon but I understand if there will need to be more.
I felt Valar as well, as real to me even though he is not in the same room and yet, he is just there. As I feel Victus beside me and Eleyna's head upon my shoulder. It is a strange feeling. Should we survive, I am sure that I will get used to it. He is honour incarnate. He seeks to ensure the comfort of his people as well. That they are being cared for.
This is it. What is in my arms, I fight for. Till my last breath.
You will not take them from me, they are mine.
We were a tangle of limbs in the bed. The weight of Astrid, Danse, Siggy, Delia and Eleyna upon our legs and in our arms. They have been kept inside, away from windows and we shed armor and bathed before we gathered them up. If this is the last night that we will have with them, then I am glad that it was as such. They know something happens, you cannot hide that from the older ones at least. Astrid champs at the bit to join her father in battle.
I like the lines at the corner of his eyes. I know what they mean. I know that feeling. I hope that there will not be more lines anytime soon but I understand if there will need to be more.
I felt Valar as well, as real to me even though he is not in the same room and yet, he is just there. As I feel Victus beside me and Eleyna's head upon my shoulder. It is a strange feeling. Should we survive, I am sure that I will get used to it. He is honour incarnate. He seeks to ensure the comfort of his people as well. That they are being cared for.
This is it. What is in my arms, I fight for. Till my last breath.
You will not take them from me, they are mine.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.