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The Captain's Wife's Lament

Are you a bard or musician with a flair for the commonfolk? Tried of holding back your tongue to appeal to the soft sensibilities of the silks? Or perhaps you're a noble pirate who likes to work the crowd and knows the ropes, but is bored with hoity toity princesses!

Then bring your favorite spicy, baudy, most innuendo-filled tunes and poems to the Murder of Crows... and join in a celebration of songs salacious. Have some drinks, blow off steam, and win a prize of dubious quality for an audience favorite filthy song.


Oct. 27, 2020, 3 p.m.

Hosted By

Nina Tanith


Evaristo Raymesin Samira Gianna Jhond Grimgar Raja Eirene Alessia Wagner Alrigo Alexio Sigismund Caprice



Arx - Lower Boroughs - Murder of Crows - Front Room

Largesse Level


Comments and Log

Evaristo strides in with the flutter of cloak that always seem to come so natural - but it's possible he's spent hours practicing to get it JUST right. Though he doesn't scream 'bard' with all that Death-related clothing, he's carrying no less than two lutes, one held under an arm and the other on his back. "Hello!" he calls cheerfully, raising his arms up, the lute going up. "This will be amazing!" He grins wide and waves to everyone, before moving to find somewhere to hang for now - the bar to start with, ordering himself a drink.

Raymesin, the fluffy dog at his feet, is tall enough to make his bar stool look like a much more standard-sized seat than it really is. Clad in scuffed and scarred black leathers - plain black, not fancy and definitely not Shadowmeld - he fits in perfectly in this taproom. Even better when he's provided with a tankard without the bartender needing to ask what he wants. He eyes the new arrivals thoughtfully, nods to the people he recognises, and generally lurks quietly. Maybe he's the bouncer. Maybe he's the bouncer's handler. Who knows?

Samira steps into the Murder, seeming at ease in this familiar territory with so many recognizable faces around her. She waves to Raymesin and Tanith, flashing a quick grin, although she heads straight toward Raja to greet her fellow Culler. She carries no instruments, bearing her sketchbook under her arm instead.

Gianna struts in just after Evaristo. Did they arrive together? Who knows. She pauses just inside the doorway, though, and carefully shrugs out of her jacket to reveal her outfit. Oh, that's a lot of leg. Just that moment's pause and then she steps further into the room. She has a gittern with her. One might expect a finer instrument for the head of the Bard's College, but that's what she's got.

With socks and sandals Jhond fits in everywhere. FASHION. He steps into the Murder only a little bit after Samira and takes a quick gander about before spotting Raja an heading her way int the crowd, but also giving Gianna a grin, hoping to catch her eye and waggle his brows.

Grimgar watches more people come in. He shifts slightly in his seat. The finely made greatsword he carries with him serving as the only clue to his identity. He looks around the room, taking it all in with a look that almost appears cautious.

Tanith spots Alessia and makes a face. "Oh no, why are you here? My lady?" Sarcasm dripping, there's a glint in her eye. "Please, don't start any riots. I beg you." As Evaristo arrives in the way he does: loud, boistrous, and flamboyant, Tanith merely glances at him, but that's likely because she's used to it by now. She smiles at Samira, and Gianna too, muttering playfully at her husband as she fusses over the cake. Jhond gets a double-take after Giana walks in with All That Leg.

Tanith mutters, "Think anyone ... ... if they ... to eat ... ... ... the prize?"

Evaristo almost drops his drink, seeing Gianna. And Gianna's legs. There is some shameless ogling, before he gives her a broad, happy grin. "Damn," he breathes. He has to take a large chug of his drink. "Gianna, I... am truly stunned. STUNNED."

Raja turns her gaze from Grimgar to Samira as she approaches. Her propped feet are dropped and she kicks out the seat across from her. "Are you singing?" She asks, a bit hopeful in all honesty. She catches the waves from people and returns the waves and a grin towards them. Back to Grimgar, "Are you singing? I bet you have a rich baritone voice."

Gianna looks pretty smug. There are some nods to those who have greeted her --- Jhond, for example, Tanith. Evaristo. Definitely smug when Evaristo claims to be stunned. And she inclines her head to Alessia as well, and Raja and Raymesin.

Eirene goes to the bar to order a beer. Not a fancy wine or whiskey, but a beer. "I just popped out a kid and alcohol and I miss one another," she mutters in her gravely voice. If she's singing, it's sure not the prettiest sound one will hear today.

Wagner has joined the Crow Bar.

Grimgar takes note of Gianna's shorts and The Legs and just stares for a long moment. Finally he tears his eyes off her and looks to Raja with an amused look. His voice is a deep maculine growl when he speaks, and yes it is a baritone. "I have something I wrote, its poetry not a song though. Probably not that good either. I'm no bard."

Jhond opens his mouth as Gianna reveals her outfit, jaw dangling open for a moment until he snaps it shut. "Oh. my. Goodness. Gianna!" he says excited and hops over to her to wave at her shorts and then at his. And then at hers. "We are practically twins! My pockets are better. Legs too, but I mean.. isn't a competition."

Tanith looks over at Eirene. "The mead's iffy, go for the ale," she tells the woman she doesn't really know. To Grimgar she shrugs and grins. "Mine's about the same. Maybe we should make Nina sing all of ours? Then we can pretend she wrote it and not us, if the lyrics are taken poorly." She snickers.

Laughing at Tanith's words, Alessia gives an innocent smile. "I'll try my temper my impulse to start trouble than hide under the counter when pies start flying." She smiles when she sees Gianna. "Messere. It's quite the outfit you have there." She says with an approving look.

Wagner enters with a squint, sucking his teeth once at the crowd and then makes a beeline towards the bar. An upnod is extended to Raymesin in wordless greeting.

Nina comes into the bar with her own cloak flowing behind her.

Nina is a fountain of cheer, nodding to people as she passes by, then walking up to the bar and receiving a mug of beer that looks too big for her small hands.

She is pleased to see a big turnout to a new and interesting event. She's dressed relatively simply - for Nina, anyway - in a little silk frock dyed with flowers, quite the picture of innocence.

She pulls a chair up and starts arranging things, putting her beer down by her side on a small table. "Thank you all! This is quite a turnout!"

Raymesin's eyebrows lift at Gianna's outfit, but he's mostly murmuring something to Tanith and offering a nod to Wagner. Perched on a bar stool with the huge fluffy Atli at his feet, he doesn't seem to have dressed up for the occasion.

Raja regards Grimgarin with a slight smirk, "Me neither. But, I am not brave enough to get up there." She laughs. "Not that I wrote anything." She gestures to the stage area, "I came to see what others wrote! Maybe it will give me inspiration."

Tanith has joined the Crow Bar.

Alessia has joined the Crow Bar.

Evaristo is brimming with excitement, shifting about where he stands, drinking, looking at everyone and trying to eavesdrop or just taking in the atmosphere. "Nina!" he calls out. "Wouldn't miss this for ANYTHING! I finished the song I've been working on for, oh, I donno, a year now, I wrote the last few verses five minutes before coming here, so RIGHT on time!"

Eirene tips her head at Tanith's suggestion and takes the ale from the bartender. She makes sure there's no spit or poison in there, sipping it in Lycene style out of habit before she takes a more realistic drink. She then lifts the mug at Tanith and asks the room, "I didn't write mine, I just know a fuck-ton of dirty soldiers songs. Is that going to be okay?" She looks over mostly at at Nina.

Grimgar chuckles deeply at Raja. "Well I think I'm sturdy enough that if people start throwing things I won't be too badly hurt." He smirks faintly and glances around the room once again.

Tanith also adds to Nina, after Eirene, "I brought something extra for the prize."

Samira drops into the seat Raja nudges out for her, offering a wry grin in answer. "Not sure anyone wants to hear me sing. I'm like you. I came to see enjoy what the more musically-inclined people came up with." Her gaze scans the crowd, likely hunting for other familiar faces to see what everyone's up to. Gianna's shorts receive an admiring glance followed by a carefully neutral expression sent toward Jhond's sock-and-sandal combination.

Nina gets Carved Wooden Lute from Instrument carrying case.

Evaristo gets Renewal, the sanguine mahogany lute from A sanguine leather covered lute case tooled with a skull and vine motif.

Evaristo has joined the Crow Bar.

Samira has joined the Darkened Booth.

Grimgar's words are rewarded with a mirth-filled laugh from Raja. "I tell you what. I won't throw anything that can harm you. Nothing pointy." She looks fondly towards Samira, "I find it amusing neither of us can sing. Well. I bet we /could/ if we practiced."

Deserra, a shy merchant's assistant, Alfonzo, a hawkish accountant, Castello, a daunting and unamused escort arrive, following Alexio.

Wandering on into the boarding house, hearing the cheer from out in the street, Alrigo Donatti leads himself on in. His honey-brown eyes flicker from side-to-side as he perks up to stride across the floor. Head dipping to a few having not seen them for a while.

Gianna nods to Nina and Samira and takes a moment's pause when Jhond declares them almost-twins. She looks at his cargo shorts. Two former Whispers. Gianna tips her chin up. "Well, different cut entirely," she remarks. "I wouldn't try to copy you, after all. And your gigantic pockets. You could fit a whole book in those, couldn't you?" She takes a step closer. "Have you?" But there's only so much time to spend on fashion. Or Jhond's fashion, anyway. She looks up and shrugs a shoulder. "I certainly hope it doesn't have to be original, though I did actually write mine. Rather soon after coming to Arx, though I haven't performed it often."

"What we are about to witness is a contest! We will all sing in order, with our favorite drinking song!"

Nina sits down on her seat, pulls out her lute, and strums a few notes. "Allow me to kick us off with a further explanation! And a bit of warmup for all of you!"

And then Nina brightly launches into a silly little tune. In spite of how she often looks elegant, innocent, and fresh, she seems quite in her element when singing a silly common song. Her cheer is evident and her voice is bright.

"Once upon a springtime
Upon a meadow fair
There was a northern Princess
Astonished by a bear
The princess told her father
She had fell into a shrub!
It might explain the scratch marks
But it won't explain the cubs!

Once upon a springtime
Near warm Setarco waters
There was a Lycene courtier
Who was a minstrel's daughter!

The lords they had a contest just
To see what made her wetter,
But of all the men who visited
She liked the women better!"

A pure little music break, a few more notes upon the lute, and then, one more verse.

"Once upon a springtime
Within a rowdy bar--"

Pause for cheers and applause! Continuing!

"There was a simple bardess
Who played a stringed guitar

Her favor she would gift
For the song she found the lewdest
So raise your mugs and raise your voice
And always tip your lutist!"

She giggles, and then, now that that is done, explains the rules.

"From here on, the singing is up to you. We will vote on a crowd favorite song. And I will also gift my personal ribbon to a song that I like the most. Tanith is providing a prize for the crowd favorite!"

"I think I could fit your shorts in my pocket." Jhond comments with a grin, "They look amazing, well done." he compliments to the other former Whisper before making his way furhter along to where Raja an Samira and whoever else sit, "Mind another?"

Gianna has joined the line.

Evaristo has joined the line.

Tanith perches on the bar counter and elbows Raymesin, pointing to Nina and laughing as the song is sung. "Hey, you're doing this with me!" she chortles.

Eirene has joined the line.

Tanith has joined the line.

Raymesin has joined the line.

Wagner stares down his whiskey, arching the singular brow that is doubly-pierced.

Grimgar has joined the line.

Raja cheers!

Evaristo has finished one ale, on his way on the second, but this one he is pacing a bit better - he is about to perform soon after all, and one ale might make it better, but two might make it worse. He listens to Nina and lets out a loud laughter - he claps and stomps and dances where he stands, clearly loving the song. "Bravo! I have to learn that one, I love it!" he calls to Nina.

Turn in line: Gianna

Grimgar dips his head gratefully to Raja, then turns to listen to Nina's song. He claps hearily and grins. "I suppose I could try and sing mine myself rather than just recite. The chances of getting things thrown at me just increased I feel."

"We probably could if we really wanted to, all things considered," Samira agrees, her tone pensive as she considers Raja's comment. She leans in to offer a whispered addendum, although Jhond's approach earns a welcoming gesture. "Not at all. Come join." Nina's opening song captures her attention, drawing both laughter and applause from the Culler.

Alrigo has joined the line.

Raja glances up to Jhond as he approaches her table. "I should have sat at a bigger table!" She laughs and nods. "Of course, join in.." She pauses as Nina sings and then lets out a hoot and holler for the well-done song!

Eirene cackles at the kick-off song and claps enthusiastically. "Way to get this shit rolling," she says.

Gianna adjusts her grip on her gittern and gives a strum. "Oh farmer, oh farmer," she begins, her voice ringing out true. "I'm in a bad way. Oh farmer, dear farmer, at the start of the day... Farmer, dear farmer, I'm in such a mood --- oh farmer, oh farmer, I never feel good." As she sings, she walks, and plucks out a simple tune on the gittern. It's a slow start, but then it picks up at the chorus. "Oh farmer, oh farmer, I need a cock, please give me a cock to wake me!" Now we are rollicking. Gianna struts around as she sings. "How about that cock? It leans to the right, it leans to the right, it can hardly walk..." And the song goes on. There are a bunch of cocks --- one is very stuff, for example, and one is very fat. Gianna is a born performer, and she selects people in the audience to tell them about roosters. It's about roosters, right? It's a song. About roosters. Sung by the glamourous former Whisper, the ever-elegant Gianna Delvecchio. But not song OFTEN. It finishes up with a loud, "I need a cock to get off!"

Gianna gets Song - I Need a Cock from repertoire.

Gianna drops Song - I Need a Cock.

Raymesin applauds the song Nina sings, then leans one elbow on the bar and murmurs something to those who're closest. And then there's more applause for Gianna.

Gianna checks charm and performance at easy. Gianna is spectacularly successful.

Alexio makes it just in time to hear Nina singing her song. The lines bringing a smile to his face. "Aye! That's a good song!" he praises from afar as he goes on moving across the room, after his cousin Alrigo but not quite with him. Both hands clapping to the tune. "You gonna sing one, cousin?" he asks to the Pravosi tailor before glancing back to the ones singing.

Approaching the bar, leaning to the side, Alrigo's fingertip lifts to order a mug of the 'beer' before glancing over his shoulder at the singing from Gianna. His laugh escaping heavy, a jovial hearty sound before scooping up the beer set down and smirking to Alexio, "Goin' to give it a try. You know been a long time since I was near a ship after all."

Alrigo has joined the Crow Bar.

Wagner mutters into his drink, "That's why they always crow in t'morning. Don't take care of it then, poor cock be walkin' all stiff rest of the day. Crack of dawn..." is the pugilist's attempt at a play of words.

Evaristo is immediately drawn in by Gianna's song - he nods along with a grin, making very 'That's right' sort of gestures, acting quite well to her performance, between fits of laughter. He's stomping feet, clapping hands, cheering loud and letting out a loud whistle at the end. "GIANNA NIGHTINGALE! You are the BEST!"

Jhond applauds for Gianna with a yell of approval before plopping into Raja's lap for a place to sit.

Turn in line: Evaristo

Raja says, "OOF!"

The opening songs from Nina have Alessia laughing by the bar, setting her zither aside for now as she simply watches. She grins when it's Gianna's turn to sing about roosters. Definitely roosters. She applauds at the end. "Wonderful. Anyone else incredibly hungry?"

Eirene sniggers through the song, nodding at the bits of silliness. She lifts her beer in toast to Gianna and grins.

Nina applauds as Gianna finishes a very, very demure song that is a real crowdpleaser. "That's going to be so difficult to beat!" she says. "But Evaristo's song is next!"

Evaristo checks charm and performance at easy. Evaristo is successful.

Evaristo pulls out all his talent and charm in this performance. He starts off calmly, smiling a little nearly shy smile, the first verse sung very softly, like a real ballad about pining young love or similar. He stands still, fingers dancing on the strings in beautiful rendering. The melody is easy to remember, catchy.

And then... comes the first verse, and speed increases, his smile grows mischievous and eyes glitter. He starts to walk along the tables now, and as the song progresses, he even acts out parts of it - the voice of the princess, the voice of the oathlander uncle, even a few very lewd moments as he sits on a table and shifts around so the table groans...

His voice carries loud and clear, the song is begging to dance to and sing along with. The final chorus he repeats several times so people CAN join in.

Tanith has left the Crow Bar.

Atli, a Whitehold Mountain Dog leaves, following Tanith.

Atli, a Whitehold Mountain Dog arrives, following Tanith.

Tanith whistles loudly at Gianna's song, laughing, and knocks back a handily placed whiskey.

Turn in line: Eirene

Nina has joined the Crow Bar.

Alessia has joined the line.

Raja oofs as Jhond plops into her lap. Raja just stares up at him. "Well. Hello." Her lips turn into a smirk. She doesn't seem to protest the man in her lap, instead offers him her mug of whiskey for sharing. She wraps an arm around his waist, holding him as if he were som lovely damsel.

Nina slides into the bar seat, but she is also participating in Evaristo's song when the right time comes up. She claps a few more times. "I always appreciate song where we Lycene women show the most wit." She fans herself with her hand. Then she picks up her beer. "And now for one of the nobility to grace us with a number! The Lady Eirene!"

Gianna has joined the Crow Bar.

Gianna collects herself a glass of whiskey after her song and makes her way to the bar, settling on a stool and crossing one leg over the other. Shorts! She sings along with Evaristo's chorus, perhaps less loudly than she might were she performing the song herself.

Eirene says, "Okay. I know two really fucking great songs, so I'll give one one and we can learn the other later..."
She,s no singer. She's able to speak in rhythm though, and approximate a tune. "It's pretty girls men fight for, they've even started wars... But how pretty does she have to be if she's down ups all forms? I found the girls who ain't so pretty are diamonds in the rough." She buffs her nails on her chest and finishes, "Cause pretty girls may look good but the ugly know their stuff."

The verses describe young ladies and tjeirmless than lovely looks, but the special way they can 'suck the bedsheets through your...' as one verse goes.

Be they ugly or unsightly or just plain make you sick...
Every girl is pretty with her lips wrapped round your Hey Nonny Nonny Hey Nonny Nonny.""

Grimgar watches the performances as they begin. He claps for each one looking more and more amused as the time goes by. He sits alone in the shadows, looking content and sipping from a beer that he recently got for himself.

With another deep and charming set of laughter Alexio's voice raises to praise the singing, this time carried out by Gianna. "Yeahhh, get it! Hear, hear!" he shouts and then leans into the bar to request a beer. A chuckle directed towards his cousin. "Will be //hard// to top that one cousin."

Eirene has joined the line.

Laughing aside to Alexio, Alrigo's pearl whites escape out behind his lips as he nods heavy, "Oh I have... one idea." Mouthfuls of his beer wash down before the mug lands upon the bar and Alrigo's hands clap, "Well ain't that something as well."

Evaristo is almost out of breatha as he returns to the bar, two lutes leaning up near him. He drinks thirstily of his ale and turns to watch Eirene next. He laughs and taps the rhytm to her speech-song and near chokes on his drink at the end.

Turn in line: Tanith

Tanith checks composure and performance at normal. Botch! Tanith is simply outclassed. This is monumentally beyond them and the result is ruinous.

"I thought you were gonna drag a chair over or something, but that's probably a cozier seat," Samira remarks with a grin as Jhond settles into Raja's lap. Her focus shifts back to the singing, her amusement growing as Eirene's song goes on.

Nina claps to Evaristo as he joins her at the bar. Then she's very thrilled by Eirene's song, which has a lot of hilarious near-rhymes and almost makes her spit out her beer. "Ah now we have one of our favorite classy women! Tanith!"

Jhond is every bit as lovely as any damsel even if he does outweight his chosen seat by a considerable amount. "Hey there." He says to her and takes a swig from the offered shared cup before singing along to one of the verses of Evaristo's, horribly, and clapping his approval for Eirene. "there's a lot of truth in that song"

Oh no, it's Tanith's turn to sing. Classy woman herself, caught drinking a second or third shot of whiskey. She clears her throat and belts out a terrible song about a knight and a unicorn.

T'was a bold knight from Sanctum-town
Who bedded every lass and lad around.
"In Arvum, there's no better lover than he!"
his many partners would declare with glee.

It's a long song. But it ends on a happy note.

Tanith drops The Knight and the Unicorn.

Wagner checks composure at normal. Botch! Wagner catastrophically fails.

Evaristos's song wins another set of applause and cheers from the southern merchant. "Ha-ha! Don't we all know it! None like the beauties of the south so cunning and charming!" he states proudly, before bringing the mug of beer to his mouth for a chug.

Wagner checks composure at easy. Wagner is marginally successful.

Folding his right arm over his chest, needfully steadying himself with the beer, Alrigo's eyes turn to Tanith. His lips drawing further up over his mouth, he laughs with a shake of his head, "Never! Sanctum? He must have lied on to the midwife or been-part Lycene."

Nina listens to Tanith's song... first, laughing, at what seems like a shaggy-dog pun that takes a long time to arrive, and, then, finally, cheering as the song also has a sweet final verse, of sorts! "My word! Even the king!" she says. "...But I like a coupling with a happy ending."

Turn in line: Raymesin

There is but a moment of pause as his hand lifts his tumbler to his lips, but Wagner clears his throat and manages to down the rest of his whiskey after Tanith's turn.

Raymesin applauds each song in turn - and then it's his turn, and he sets his tankard down. "Anyone as knows this one, sing along." He starts clapping a beat, and launches into - well, calling it a song is being charitable, but there's a rhythm and a rhyme and it's a recognisable tune even if the words are a less-standard version than the usual Arx refrain.

The king’s rump sits upon the throne, his wife has her seat,
The lord, he has his dinner served, the lady has her meat.
The craftsman shapes his heart’s desire and binds it with a thong,
But the maid keeps stuffing sausages, all night long.

The steward hoards his wild oats, but sows his wheat seed free,
The footman is a leg man, and sees what he can see.
The laundrymaid’s a true dab hand at vanishing most stains,
But the maid keeps stuffing sausages, for friend and for swain.

The farmer’s club is mighty, the forester’s tree tall,
The maid who truly loves them, she sees one, she sees all,
Some folks keep theirs hidden, some folks show theirs wide,
But the maid who is the happiest, she keeps hers inside.

So all hail to the sausages, be they yours or mine,
All hail to the sausages, be they beef or swine,
Be they dear or near or far, be they false or true
All hail to the sausages - and to what with them we do!

Tanith looks innocent, raising her glass to Alrigo. "My mother made my father put us to bed one night. That's the song he sang. -Never- happened again." She downs her third? fourth? shot, and looks to her husband as it's his turn.

Evaristo is clapping, stomping, dancing - and laughing. The end of Tanith's song has him cheering and raising his glass in a toast to that ending. He then sits back to listen to Raymesin, and has fits of giggles throughout it. He applauds very energetically. "TO SAUSAGES!"

There's more applause as the songs go on from Alessia, now on her possible third? glass. "To sausages!" She adds on to Evaristo's cheer.

Gianna claps along with the songs, stamping her feet on the lower rung of her barstool when necessary. It's hard to get her to laugh - hasn't happened yet - but there is definite amusement glittering in her deep blue eyes. Sometimes the hint of a ghost of a smile, even.

Tanith is in her cups a bit, but she's safely perched on the bartop counter near Raymesin's stool. She applauds as loudly as she can.

Tanith shouts from nearby, "TO SAUSAGES!"

Eirene says, "SAUSAGE!"

Raja shouts from nearby, "Who doesn't like a robust sausage?!"

Alexio says, "Aye, to sausages!"

Grimgar claps his large hands for the song about sausages quite enthusiasticly. "YES! TO SAUSAGES!" he rumbles out in what is almost a shout.

Raising up the mug of beer, following up with the rest, Alrigo calls "To sausages!" And with that a toast is made and a mouthful of beer washed down.

This last song and the rowdy chorus of yells that follows prompt a peal of laughter from Samira, who raises her glass in enthusiastic agreement.

Raymesin grins. "Best sausage I 'ever 'ad were an Oathlands sausage," he adds. "All 'ail ter th'sausages!"

Tanith peers over at Wagner, leaning a hand on the bar. "Your missus ever tup you over with a sausage? They come in all shapes and materials now. Saw a lovely one made of solid glass in the black market-"

Raja gives a double take towards Tanith, overhearing her words. Dark eyes go wide as she regards the woman as she slowly lifts her mug of whiskey to her lips. Sssssiiippp.

"Sorry to say no, Tanith. It was me that brought home t'bacon. Berries too." Wagner deadpans to the Grayhope.

Turn in line: Grimgar

Grimgar looks up and straightens in his seat when its his turn, dressed all in black simple yet quality made clothes. The giant blonde has a presence to him despite his dressed down appearance, commanding attention. He looks out at the crowd and smiles faintly a warm and charming smile. "I wrote this one myself, it was meant to be a poem but I'm brave enough to try singing it. Please don't throw too many knives, aye?"

Then he takes a breath and opens his mouth once more, the tune leaving his lips in a rich rumbling baritone. The song is sung with an upbeat sort of warmth and he sounds rather good, somehow manging to keep time and rythem to the poem turned song.

"One day I woke, bored as could be.
No thrills or fun could console me
So I went searching for joy
What I found was a very pretty boy
At first I thought him to be a lass
But no woman ever had such a nice ass
I shared his company all night and day
He showed me how to love a different way
The bed shook hard with ever thrust
He asked me to stay the night, said that I must
His body was fair and made for sin
I kept coming for him again and again.
And when the sun was high and I could take no more
I got up and left, forgetting my pants on the floor.
What a sight I must have been upon my return home.
But at least now I never sleep alone."

The notes flow easily from his mouth, rumbling out richly as he sings. Finally the song comes to an end and Grimgar bows his head before trying to retreat back to the shadows of his shady corner.

"I personally love a good solid sausage," says Nina, very demure as always. She's down to the bottom of her first beer, so she orders another, and then waves on the next singer! She looks rather wide-eyed to see a man she hasn't seen sing before belt out such a tune, and it does make her blush a little as it gets right to the point. She fans herself a few times after that one, then saying, "Next time, I'm going to remember to bring a proper fan to these. I might almost get tongue tied!"

"Ah," Tanith pats Wagner's arm. "I thought for sure she'd left something up there." She looks back as Grimgar takes over, taking a moment to kiss Raymesin after his song and the hollering settles down.

Gianna tosses back a gulp of whiskey; possibly it will help keep her warm despite the shorts. Still, a tavern's good for generating heat, particularly today. Given the subject matter. Just the walk home might be a bit cool.

Evaristo keeps up the cheer - he's stomping, clapping, adding a rhytmic instrument in a manner. He cheers and hollars again and raises his ale in a toast.

Raymesin returns Tanith's kiss, then promptly chokes on something. He wasn't drinking at the time, and choking on thin air is always an achievement. He applauds Grimgar, though, while still trying to get his breath back.

Raja becomes keenly interested as Grimgar took to song! She cants her head slightly, listening to the words coming out. As the song finishes she gives a rowdy cheer from her table!

Turn in line: Alrigo

Tanith cheers for Grimgar, laughing. She offers Raymesin his tankard; goodness, don't choke!

Stepping from the bar, mug of beer set down, Alrigo's hands cup beneath his chest as he lifts his chin to call -

"Running hand over head. She tore my shirt to shred. She would not be here if I was dead."

His voice perking slight as he moves on, right hand lifting to touch his razer-thin right cheek, "Her tongue, running up over my cheek. I let out a powerful shriek. I had only been gone a week."

Louder, heavier, Alrigo's voice perks. The chances of it being considered singing, at this point, is utterly unlikely but up goes his right hand. Drama. "Rattle at the door. My key in hand. I tossed it on open. And there she could stand." He pauses.

Lingering on those few words, Alrigo's chin turns once more to the room and Alexio, "Taking treats from another man! Her bark, I heard. I have no other word. Into the soup she goes."

Flickering his pearl-white teeth, Alrigo's voice purrs, "Into the soup Bessie goes."

"Nope, I am just a cantankerous dick with a hobby of beating folks to a bloody pulp. Tease me all y'want, don't include her." Wagner remarks to Tanith in the same flat tone before ordering another whiskey for himself. "Good song, Raymesin. Stiff competition all around."

Alessia checks dexterity and performance at easy. Alessia is spectacularly successful.

Turn in line: Alessia

"Hm. Well. I thought that was about sex, but then it was about eating a dog." Nina frowns for a second. "I think! It was quite a swerve. I'm not sure I'd eat a dog but then again, I've been in so many questionable inns... that I can't really say for sure that I haven't!"

Then she looks at Alessia, gesturing for her next performance. "Now the Lady Alessia will favor us with a song that is not about anyone here."

Evaristo is tapping along with Alrigo too - but the end of the song has him just turning quiet, and squint at the man. He looks a bit confused and scratches the side of his neck.

Placing her zither on her lap, Alessia begins flexing her fingers for a moment before she strums a tune. It's a lovely melody that seem almost like a ballad. Which may seem absurd for a song definitely just about blackberry tarts.

I had a delectable blackberry tart,
So hot within, it warmed my heart.

The juices so fresh, my mouth waters,
This piece of art, the work of auteurs.

A luscious taste, my tongue must linger,
I've not had enough; I turn to what remains on my finger.

Tanith nearly chokes on her next pull at her tankard when first Alrigo sings, composes herself. And then -Alessia- sings, and Tanith is spluttering.

Eirene is confused by Alrigo's song. The dog or woman thing also has her shrugging as she sips her beer. She's thinking of another dirty song she knows. The 'tart' song is met with a grin.

Raja has left the Darkened Booth.

1 Culler Boatswain have been dismissed.

2 Culler Brutes have been dismissed.

"Mmm, blackberry tarts," Evaristo sums it up and then applauds Alessia, laughing and cheering.

Raymesin eyes Alrigo warily at the end of his song, then shakes his head; Alessia's song, though, has him grinning and applauding.

"You never know what is in House Soup really." Wryly flickering up his lips to Nina, Alrigo steps back to the bar itself before once more sipping his drink.

Grimgar takes a long drink from his tankard as he goes back to watching the performances. He claps for each one smiling a bit more brightly now that his own song wasn't as terrible as he feared.

Nina checks composure at normal. Nina is successful.

Gianna tilts her head to the side at Alrigo's piece; she's nothing but composed, however. The tarts, though. "Always gets under your nails," she remarks, almost absently. But not quite.

Nina looks over at Tanith sputtering, but her face is, instead of reacting, incredibly passive. Perhaps she doesn't get it, or why Tanith would make such a face. "Hm. Well that was actually, a very innocent song, but the nobility is always so classy about these things. Thank you so much for favoring us with it!" She looks over at Eriene, who sems as if she was interested in going a second time. "Do you want to sing another to finish us off, or shall we move to the deliberation proceedings?"

Turn in line: Eirene

Eirene steps up again. As before, she can't sing worth a damn. "So this one is about tits...." So she starts off with the chorus

"Call them jubblies or titties, a bosom, a bust; there's nothing quite them to fill me with lust. I've sailed up and down, the whole wide world over, but I loves me a lassie who's cups runneth over."
Each verse, then, describes a different size of breast and extols the virtues of each. The last verse goes... "And sometimes mere letters, they cannot express, that bountiful bosom, that glorious chest. How we want to die, as our eyes finally close-- is smothered between her soft cushy pillows." - NSFW but written by Eirene player

Evaristo is catching on quickly and joins in the chorus - he does love them too, after all. He cheers loudly for Eirene when she's done.

Wagner has left the Crow Bar.

Wagner has joined the Crow Bar.

Samira listens to the singing, good humor gleaming in her eyes. Something said nearby draws a scoff from the artist, the sound muffled behind her drink. She appears as amused by Eirene's second song as she had by the first, grinning as she muses aloud, "Can't deny the goodness of soft, cushy pillows."

Eirene says, "There are worse ways to die." She grins at Samira. "There's a verse about man boobs and cocks too but it requires a male-female counterpoint to be funny."

Nina settles up at the bar, applauding the long and lovely song about the cups and things. Cups are very important, after all... and speaking of which, she refills her own, as she starts to mutter and hear whispers of popular votes. "Now you will have time then to walk around, speak amongst each other, and deliberate about your favorite songs! And for any who do not win, there's still plenty of drink and cake to be had!"

Tanith lifts her tankard. "Not enough songs about lady-bits. TO LADY BITS!" And takes a drink.

Laughing smooth once more, Alrigo's hands cheer for Eirene's second song before needfully washing down his beer. Turning his chest for another fill from the barman before leaning back upon the bar, "Ah choices. Choices."

"It figures I would walk in right when you people reach the point of /discussing/ songs." exclaims Sigismund as he walks through the door, shaking his head. "Ah well. You, brother." he points to Wagner. "Fill me in on what I missed. Which of these kids deserve praise for?" he asks, even as he heads to the bar to get himself a drink. Damn timing of it all.

"To lady bits!" Alessia says, lifting her cup. "Not that it was what I was singing about at all." She smiles wryly.

Wagner lifts his nearing empty glass. "To tits. May I never have a day where I don't see 'em."

Raymesin lifts his tankard in salute to the arriving Sigismund. He actually looks to be both smiling and cheerful, and there doesn't seem to be anyone bleeding or bled out nearby, though there is a very large and fluffy white lump the foot of his bar stool. "Ter tits," he agrees, "An' all those deep places we love so much."

Wagner adds to Sigismund as he appears, "Brother, that one sung of life's two greatest joys - fine pillows and talented tongues." The Ulbran's indicative gesture singles out Lady Eirene oh so helpfully.

Eirene bows as people praise her song about praising boobs. It gives an opportunity to look down her steelsilk bodice at her own offerings, to those inclined.

"Yes, we have had a rousing good time, and we are about to tally up the final votes. Are you here to grace us with a song, good," Nina looks over, then up, at Sigismund, smiling and adding, "good sir! Or simply listen to the announcement of our winner?" She gets up, as if she is to say something next.

Tanith lets loose a rare giggle at Raymesin, leaning into his shoulder from her perch on the bar, a foot hooked around a leg of his stool, the other dangling.

Grimgar stays in his seat, finishing off his beer. He glances around curiously as the winner is being discussed and determined.

Gianna tosses back the rest of her whiskey, cheeks a bit pinkened. Probably the whiskey, she's been mostly poker-faced.

"So not only does she have good choice, she's generous with what she has, too!" Sigismund grins, raising his newly acquired bottle of beer in Eirene's direction. "Though Raymesin here has a good point as well." he adds, nodding in the man's direction. "Did either of you supply good lines?" he asks the two Ulbrans. To Nina, he nods. "But of course! Wouldn't have it any other way."

Gianna takes Song - I Need a Cock.

Gianna puts Song - I Need a Cock in repertoire.

Tanith squeaks, belated and drunk: "Sigis!" and raises her tankard to him.

Tanith gets The Knight and the Unicorn.

Nina looks at the larger older man, and considers. "Our votes are being tallied... but I'd like to hear your song, sir! Perhaps there is the opportunity that some may be swayed!" Nina claps her hands at Sigismund, and gives him the floor.

Eirene pounds her beer mug on the bar. "More songs, more songs," she encourages.

Caprice comes late but it's better than not at all! And, it seems, in time to applaud for Sigismund in belated appreciation for- oh, no, in encouragement for his turn at the center of attention.

Gianna calls out, "Sing! Or recite. Sometimes it's better to recite." She gestures to the bartender for a refill.

Wagner makes no attempt to hide his facepalm that culminates in him pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh for fuck's sake...."

Resting on his elbows, his back upon the bar, Alrigo adds in to the cheer, "More songs. More songs." Lifting his beer up for a moment to cheers and encourage another on into the ring.

Samira offers a cheery wave to Caprice as she spots the familiar woman, then perks up as she notes Sigismund's arrival. "You're just in time. Sing us somethin'!" she calls encouragingly to the Ulbran.

Tanith gets a tart, sweet lemon-blueberry cake with bright blue icing.

"You wish for a song? Very well, a song you shall have!" Sigismund is a large man, and a man of rather advanced years. Yet he leaps up onto a table with the energy of a young man in his prime and the grace of an acrobat. He doesn't need much time at all to prepare, and indeed sets to singing almost immediately.

"A lusty young smith at his vice stood a-filing.
His hammer laid by but his forge still aglow.
When to him a buxom young damsel came smiling,
And asked if to work in her forge he would go.

With a jingle bang jingle bang jingle bang jingle.
With a jingle bang jingle bang jingle high ho."


As he sings, Sigismund is not afraid at all to leap from table to table and dance, showing no strain at all at doing both at once, with no lessening of either's quality. With the final high ho, he performs another leap and lands on the floor upon both feet before performing a courtly bow.

Nina clears her throat, and then she speaks aloud. "Well, after a great deal of deliberation..." she says, and looks at Tanith, "And guessing several choices, we have come to a conclusion about the competition."

She puts her hands next to her cheeks, and raises her voice. "The grand prize goes to Lady Eirene, for a rousing soung about the bosoms of the ladies." She clears her throat. "I must say, while cocks and sausages also made a good showing, it seems the lady parts are still a favorite with the crowds." Nina happily gestures. "For the winning song, a lovely piece of lemony cake! And I think a surprise is buried inside. Thank you Lady Eirene!"R
"Now as runner-up, I will declare the reciever of my token, for the song that surprised me and made me blush the most! And this song also got many votes as well." Then Nina pulls a ribbon out of her dress, and walks over and pins it on Grimgar. "For your pure-hearted story of love, I present you with this gift upon which is embroidered a pure heart of innocence."

"And for those who have more songs in their hearts, I declare this party to be a success, and one we may repeat in the future!"

"To it being a success!" Once more, up goes Alrigo's mug before lowering it to the edge of the bar to give the victors and the hosts another round of applause.

"Woo, lady parts!" Comes Alessia's cheer when Nina announces the winner, applauding for Eirene with a beaming smile.

Grimgar blinks as the ribbon is pinned to him. His smile is a warm one as he bows his head low to Nina and rumbles out a thanks. "Thank you, I'm glad you liked it."

Gianna raises her freshly refilled glass of whiskey in reply to the toast. "A fine tradiation. Very dignified."

Caprice crab-walks deeper into the room with a wave for Samira in return, eye and ear turned for Sigismund's performance. Laughing, she raises up another round of applause that renews in cheerful acknowledgment of Eirene's win - and an ooh and ahh for Grimgar's token! Spotting Evaristo (maybe?) in the crowd, she asides with a grin, "I think I'm more relieved than disappointed I couldn't make it on time. Impromptu for -this- subject might have had... disastrous results."

Raymesin applauds Sigismund's song, then Eirene, smiling broadly - and then applauds Grimgar, too.

Raymesin gets a gold-trimmed cloak in indigo white hart with a black mink mantle from backpack of the Queen's Blade.

More laughs, more toasts - for Sigismund's performance. Evaristo is quite merry - in the tipsy state of perfection, when EVERYTHING is great. "For lady parts!" Evaristo cheers, "and for stories of love!" He drinks deeply from his mug, then spots Caprice and waves at her, before leaning in to listen. "But that is the FUN part!" he tells her. "Although to be fair, everyone here has performed admirably, no vegetables thrown at ALL."

Eirene claps for the jingle iangle performance. Very entertaining. Then she cackles a laugh as she Wins! For tits! "To lady parts. May those of us who enjoy them enjoy them!" She fluffs her own boobs as she grins. "Thank you, everyone. Ooh. Cake." Grimgar's victory is met with a salute in his direction. "It was very romantic," she agrees.

Raymesin puts a gold-trimmed cloak in indigo white hart with a black mink mantle in backpack of the Queen's Blade.

Nina is overheard praising Tanith: Your baking is the best!

Nina is overheard praising Raymesin: Thank you for a great song!

Nina is overheard praising Gianna: For such a great and silly song and performance!

Alessia is overheard praising Nina: A wonderful event!

Nina is overheard praising Evaristo: I like songs where the Lycene woman is the clever one.

Eirene is overheard praising Nina: I love singing dirty songs.

"The floor, or tables, are yours if you wish to perform!" Sigismund remarks to Caprice before applauding the winners of the contest. "A fine new tradition to keep. And we've you, little miss..." he tells Nina. "And you, little Tanith, to thank for organizing this? Shall we have another round of applause for these two?" Everyone's little, it would seem.

Eirene is overheard praising Tanith: Singing dirty songs for cake!

Nina is overheard praising Grimgar: A great voice and surprising tune!

Evaristo is overheard praising Nina: Loved this event - do it again!

Evaristo is overheard praising Grimgar.

2 Whitehawk Guards, Zephyr, a perlino Sanna courser arrive, following Sapphira.

Umber, a bay courser, A darling cremello Artshall mini horse wearing a red blanket, Sapphira arrive, following Oddmun.

Nina is overheard praising Alessia: For shocking even Tanith!

Evaristo is overheard praising Eirene.

2 Whitehawk Guards, Zephyr, a perlino Sanna courser leave, following Sapphira.

Wagner is overheard praising Tanith.

Samira is overheard praising Tanith.

Samira is overheard praising Nina.

Grimgar is overheard praising Nina: A fun and enjoyable event!

Nina is overheard praising Eirene: A real crowd-pleaser!

Alessia is overheard praising Tanith: I promise I'll stop now!

Umber, a bay courser, A darling cremello Artshall mini horse wearing a red blanket leave, following Oddmun.

Mutters and copious side eye is given from the Lower Boroughs residents in the bar as one of higher station enters the Murder of Crows.

2 Whitehawk Guards, Zephyr, a perlino Sanna courser arrive, following Sapphira.

Mutters and copious side eye is given from the Lower Boroughs residents in the bar as one of higher station enters the Murder of Crows.

Umber, a bay courser, A darling cremello Artshall mini horse wearing a red blanket arrive, following Oddmun.

Nina is overheard praising Alrigo: A song with a twist!

"Really? No vegetables?" Caprice's brows arch higher in genuine surprise. "Nothing round and soft, or long or short, or knobbly, for inspiration?" Sigismund's offer earns a distracted, thoughtful grin as she turns her attention towards the aforementioned tables. Hmm...

Pushing up from the bar, Wagner inches his empty glass back to the service side of the bar. "Time for another job. See y'round." He salutes sarcastically to the other Ulbrans present.

Raymesin is overheard praising Tanith.

Raymesin is overheard praising Nina.

Raymesin is overheard praising Grimgar.

Umber, a bay courser, A darling cremello Artshall mini horse wearing a red blanket leave, following Oddmun.

2 Whitehawk Guards, Zephyr, a perlino Sanna courser, Oddmun leave, following Sapphira.

"I KNEW I should have brought the giant cucumber from the Harlequin ball..." Evaristo says, snapping his fingers. "Might've been a good prop for some song, right?"

"Well, that was fun." Alessia says, applauding once again, finishing her next cup of gin. "Though now, I'm starving so should probably head off. I'm thinking sausages..." She says as she drifts off, waving to those in the bar.

Eirene accepts her cake with a grin. "I'll have to share this with my kids. They love sweets." She pauses as she notices something inside and arches her eyebrows. "Four and twenty blackbirds, eh?"

Wagner has left the Crow Bar.

Samira is clearly impressed with Sigismund's exuberant performance, watching his nimble tabletop movements with approval. When winners are announced, she applauds loudly and whistles before rising to her feet. "Gotta get going, but this was a good, entertaining time. Thanks to you both for organizing." The last called to Tanith and Nina before she steps toward the door.

Samira has left the Darkened Booth.

Straightening up by the bar, Alrigo sets down his beer and steps from the edge of it, "Thanks for running this now. Been something different and nice to get out of the shop." Broad, his pearls bare themselves for a moment behind thin lips as he smiles to Nina and Tanith. Dipping his head before making back for the streets.

Alessia has left the Crow Bar.

3 House Mazetti Guardians, Sirra, a very quiet maid, an indeterminate number of cats, Lance, a rebellious swan that likes to headbutt leave, following Alessia.

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