Skip to main content.

Written By Anze

March 26, 2017, 4:31 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

It is a remarkable thing about humanity, that even in our darkest moments and worst times that we still manage to create bright lights for ourselves. There is a reason that I view life the way I do. Those moments we have outside of the life and death struggle on the battlefield are moments to enjoy and to love. There is so much terrible going on, and at the same time one of my best friends is about to get married and I have the best fiance in the history of the world, these points of light are awfully bright indeed.

Written By Valencia

March 26, 2017, 4:22 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

It occurs to me that perhaps I may be too private with my feelings. Though I can hear some already laughing at the notion. But with the coming threat I am finding more clarity in how I truly feel about certain people. And, while I will may never find my way to openly speak of them here in these journals where everyone can brazenly see the workings of my heart and mind, it does not mean that my feelings are not there for good or ill.

Perhaps I should be more bold and speak openly of this impression or that. But I sometimes find my first impressions are not my second or even my last and while I do have thoughts I cannot seem to share all of them openly even when I want to. Not yet. Though I try.

As we find ourselves closer to danger and possible death more than ever before I have been trying to keep my head and my hope up. Fear of losing people I love is tearing my guts to pieces. I am sick with it. I am made even more ill knowing that I cannot always say what I wish to say.

And, though I want to believe in my heart of hearts all will be well, there is a part of me that feels I must speak now or never. But despite struggle I still far too often remain silent. I suppose what adds salt to the wound is that time is running out for such things and yet here I am, struggling and still too silent.

But I am trying. Though likely it is not enough.

But the fact remains true, though I may not always be able to say so, that does not mean I do not wish I could.


Written By Esoka

March 26, 2017, 4:22 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Samantha

In bloodshed and chaos, Marquessa Samantha Deepwood finds strength through unity and respect. It is no wonder 30,000 Abandoned turned to follow her. I often feel odd among Compact nobility, but I'm proud to be sworn to House Riven, and prouder that we follow this lady of the Deepwood in whatever she shall make of the world.

Written By Valery

March 26, 2017, 4:09 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Gavin

Lady Valencia says in the Redrain Villa is safer than in the city.
I should try to convince him to stay with me...

Written By Valery

March 26, 2017, 4:08 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

It's getting so scary...
They say they entered the city.
I'm not sure if I should leave the house or not...

Written By Nix

March 26, 2017, 3:14 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

I stretched my legs, finally, and headed down into the Lowers to investigate the wreckage following the battle. Bodies were lined up along the docks so they could be claimed by superiors or family. The ground was still sticky with the blood, not entirely dry.

I hate that I was unable to participate. That I am stuck with this cane and ruined leg.

I feel useless, and it infuriates me.

Written By Caelis

March 26, 2017, 3:10 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

It amazes me how even when the world should feel so dark that there is still so much hope. When I was a little girl ready fairy tales I always wondered how the heroes keep going. It seemed so idealistic. Now, where we are, I feel I understand my childhood heroes a little better.

Written By Khanne

March 26, 2017, 3:09 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Sometimes, life gets away from us. We get caught up in our daily tasks, our duties to family, to fealty, to crown. We are in constant pursuit of answers, of succeeding, of protecting, defending, preparing, learning, knowing, understanding... that we lose sight of other things that are -just- as important. We take for granted moments with those we love and care about; family, friends, lovers. It is easy to do, and most of us aren't even aware we are doing it, and certainly did not intend to... but it happens.

We are in a flux at the moment. We have seen small victories, balanced by too many deaths. We have heard them knocking at our proverbial door. We know that there will likely be more victories, but we too know there will be more deaths. It is in these times of flux when we are not only reminded of our own mortality... but that of those we love. It is in these times many of us will stop and reflect on their lives, things we are proud of, things we miss, people close to us who have been gone for far too long, worry about who we may lose next.... worry about if it will be ourselves.

Someone very dear to me once told me it was important to have no regrets. I wonder, sometimes, if that is even a possibility. It is one thing to know where you are standing is where you are meant to be. But does that mean you got there with no regrets? Is anyone able to look at where they are and not think 'I wish I had...' or 'I wish I had not...'? Not even once? Or is living with no regrets simply accepting that what choices we made led us to where we are, and whether proud of them, or not, realizing they were made with reason. And, for whatever that reason, it was the right thing to do in that moment, or at least felt like it was. Is it accepting that we made mistakes in our lives, but knowing none of us, not a one, is infallible? All we can do is live each day trying to be a better person than we were the day before, and as long as we do that, learn from our mistakes, there is no regretting making them? We may stumble sometimes... but we are human. All we can do is stand up straight again, and try to be better the next day.

May we all be granted many next days.

Written By Leola

March 26, 2017, 2:57 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

"Everything ends in the dark. Everything ends in Silence. Everything, Daughter of the Wood."

These words were spoken to me over a year ago, before I ever came to Arx. More and more, they seem like prophecy. When I consider their source, I wonder if they are. Still. It is the right of all living beings to attempt to defy fate. Everything will not end. Even if I will, this world will not.

I gave my word to my Baroness, and her liege. I gave my word to Petrichor. I will do everything I might. Everything I must. Lest everything end in the dark, in the silence.

Written By Gisele

March 26, 2017, 2:27 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

By Vellichor's will I record that the Bringers can move invisibly, unseen by those around them, cloaked not by the environment but by some working of their own. But those that were discovered in the graveyard were unmasked by unexpected collision with a thrown handful of dirt. Let us pray that dirt or rocks or the sweep of a staff are enough to expose any others that lurk among us, I cannot record with absolute certainty that it will always work. But it is enough to know and try. We must be vigilant.

Written By Aureth

March 26, 2017, 1:51 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

In a moment there was nothing and in the next they were there.

It was a horror. And even with all of us standing ready to fight, I felt nothing, nothing but pure terror. It was a living nightmare. They didn't have to breach the walls. They just had to stroll past my home--

This was just the beginning.

Guard her city, people of the Compact. We must. We have to. Stand for life.

Written By Margot

March 26, 2017, 1:32 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Wilhem

The people of the isles told me I would be hurt by freeing so many Thralls but I have learned to trust my knowledge humanity. Some will leave. Others will stay and those who are very ambitious will like Master Wilhem embrace the opportunity to thrive and grow. What was an unhappy thrall, toiling away on order is now a Whisper and artist able to create freely and bring renown to the Tyde family.

When war is passed, if it is ever passed, I shall have a most glorious wardrobe I have no doubt.

Written By Acacia

March 26, 2017, 1:32 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

You forget how many hundreds consists of until they're all lined up on the wood of the docks, the stark of the raw cloth rippling in painful contrast against the tar-black stains of the flame-licked woods. It took most of the night to haul them up, though some might've still been left behind. But dozens came down to aid, from the lowest of the low to the Silks on horseback from the gates of the city. And in those terrible moments, there's no distinction between paltry conflict -- just our side and theirs.

Vance was fucked up beyond belief. They found him later that evening, toppled and almost forgotten behind some crates. Khloe, Refills and Birdie were quick in their assistance though, despite the numbers of wounded that still seek care after the incident. Tons of healers were left behind to help, but the constant groans of those in pain always makes it feel like it's never enough.

I'm proud of the family in ways I can't properly explain. Torian sparked to life and showed no hesitation when the invasion happened in the Boroughs. Mae's attitude makes it clear why Audric would favor her - quick and agile as ever, but never hesitating to drop everything to help. Without Orathy's knowledge and aid, everyone would've been in a rougher state. The preparations were bloody ingenious. And Calandra's command and charming sway of her people has never faltered in aiding the evacuation. So yeah. Damn bloody proud.

There's still a long road ahead, but knowing so many hold steady strengthens that necessary morale which spurs men and women both to continued action. For everything else? May the Gods strengthen us to save ourselves.

Written By Margot

March 26, 2017, 1:19 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Dagon

Everytime you leave for battle, I feel as if I cannot breath until you return.
Keep coming home to me safely.

Written By Calypso

March 26, 2017, 1:09 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Harald

Lord Harald Grimhall - My relationship with this Mourning Isles-born commander is a strange one on all counts. We were first introduced when he was assigned to me as the Liaison of the Thraxian fealty for the Ministry of Defense. Having never met the man before I was eager to see who exactly Prince Victus and Princess Donella thought was capable of the weighty task. As it turns out, they chose the exact right man for the job. He is hardened by a life of war and skilled with a tactical mind. All aspects of Lord Harald that I find highly valuable in this position.

The strange part comes in through the fact that Lord Harald is by all rights a very Thraxian Traditionalist, socially speaking. He holds firm to his belief in thralldom and seeks to challenge the changes that are upon us. I though, being a woman in command of him, that he and I would have more problems seeing eye to eye. When in fact, more often than not, we look at a situation and see it the same way. I value his firm belief in the might of mankind and the steel we wield. Though the rules of the game are constantly changing around us, I am glad to have this rock of a man by my side in defending the Compact.

Written By Anze

March 26, 2017, 1:06 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Its been a long few weeks. Longer still because so many were gone for so long. It seems like they returned and brought chaos with them. Seems that the quiet city is over now, and its proper siege mode. Smoke in the lower boroughs, a new crop of wounded soldiers, a full compliment on the walls. All the reports say that the scouts took a hefty toll on the approaching forces, they also say they fought a giant. There were no reports of siege weapons with the abandoned coming to the city, guess you don't need a battering ram if you have a fucking giant.

Written By Rowan

March 26, 2017, 12:25 p.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

Finicky Heron searched for breakfast along the banks of a river. Heron was proud and Heron was picky, and very little but the absolute best would do for breakfast. There were fish aplenty in the morning waters close to the shore, but none suited Heron.

Minnows tickled at Heron's legs, but Heron only said, 'Those tiny things are hardly fit for such regal creatures as me.'

Perch and Trout drifted lazily buy, supping on the plentiful minnows, but Heron found fault in those as well. 'So plain,' Heron lamented. 'I can't be bothered to bend my graceful neck for that.'

As the sun rose higher and warmed the river, the fish retreated to the deeper waters to find cool and rest with their full bellies. By lunch, Heron found himself settling, and gladly, on a tiny snail picked out of the mud to quiet the pangs in his stomach.

Written By Sparte

March 26, 2017, 11:51 a.m.(2/28/1006 AR)

So this is war. The bodies everywhere, the people mourning and terrified. I don't wish this upon anyone with a heart, yet the enemies that have brought this war to us are inhuman. Husks of men. I put my blade through one of the shavs myself, and there was not the cry of men around me who were felled by shavs in turn. Not the pain, not even joy in their release what whatever cruel magic holds them. Just collapse, as the body could no longer hold itself together. The bringers I fought were little better, darker if anything. We are not at war with men who suffer as we do, except as victims of those against us. I am terrified, any sane man should be. If not for themselves, for everyone else. Even if we win, this will be a scar across Arx.

Written By Eleyna

March 26, 2017, 10:57 a.m.(2/27/1006 AR)

Relationship Note on Talen

Not many. Then again, it seems they aren't man-babies in the Boroughs, either. Unlike some Velenosan princes of my acquaintance.

Written By Asger

March 26, 2017, 10:55 a.m.(2/27/1006 AR)

As a child and even in the past few years I often wondered what it would be like to be my brother, to be the heir to be the duke. Now I find myself thrust into this position suddenly and it is more then I can take in. There are so many matters to see to and I am beginning to realize I don't know half of what I need to and my tried and true skills aren't going to help me here. Spirits give me strength, I am going to need it.

Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.

Leave blank if this journal is not a relationship

Mark if this is a private, black journal entry