Jeffeth from the city comes a giant backlit shadowy form with two heads. The shards have arrived already! It is tall and wide and it has crazy muscles all across its horrible chest. One of its heads is deformed beyond recognition as if melted by far and it's other head is....Oh! It's Lys riding on Jeffeth's back.

The grandmaster of Solace is in a tight pair of bathing trunks and still damp with Grotto-scented water. He ferries the blushing bride-to-be Lys on his back. "Ahoy! Lord Geralt Crovane?!" the giant man rumbles out.

Lys is absolutely /soaked/ at the moment. Her shorn-red curls still dripping water, and she's dressed only in a black silk chemise. She's riding on Jeffeth's back like a kid. She's got arm wrapped loosely about his back and the other lifts to call out, "Heeelloooo! Future husband? Are you here?"

The world is literally ending. Sooner rather than later. And Geralt has spent a lot of time doing a lot of things. Drinking. Eating. Fighting. Such is the way of any man who would call himself a leader of men as well as being a Sword of a Duchy. But strange times calls for even stranger things, and the man has realized that it's not going to do if he faces the end alone, when he's been basically a confirmed bachelor his entire life. So in what might be a series of either really good or really bad decisions, when he saw that Lys was looking to get married at the end of world, his exact through process was: take a swig of mead, read the listing and say 'Fuck it, why not.'

Having stuck the massive sword of Frostsea into the sand next to him, he's wearing what he would call his best clothes. And upon tilting his head at his name being called out, he goes from looking at the sea to looking at his impromptu bride-to-be. Riding the officiant. We're off a smashing start. "Yep. That's me." A half grin appears on his feature at the sight of Lys. "Interrupt you in the bath, eh?"

Jeffeth stamps along the sand and begins to loom very large in Geralt's sight as he gets closer. He has a big big all too excited grin on big face. He reaches behind his head and plucks Lys from his back, not unlike a rag doll, and holds her out to be plopped in either the waiting arms of her doting groom, or the sand. (Hopefully the former)

"All right you two political-advantage birds. Let's see the agreement between the houses." He sticks out a meaty palm with a golden scar dug deep in the center of it and makes a grabby hand for the list minute missives so he can review them and give Final Faith Approval.

Lys laughs a little bit more, hopping down and straightening out her chemise. A surprisingly shy smile is given toward Geralt, before she turns to look toward Jeffeth, she turns then toward Arienne and gets to pages. One message is from her to Jaenelle which reads: 'Can I marry Geralt Crovane, we're going to be monogamous, and blah blah blah.' And the response from Jaenelle is 'Of course!'.

"Llyr wasn't all that pleased to see me go, but he also can't hold it against me to find some kind of companionship in our last days alive, eh?" Geralt pulls out the aforementioned arrangement between Crovane and de Lire. It's funny. For as large as the Crovane is, he's still feels slightly small standing next Jeffeth. Not too often that the Sword at a six foot five actually has to look *up* at someone. "Anyone can wield Frostsea." he looks at the greatsword, patting it rather fondly. "I'll hope to replace it with something equally as good, if not familiar." The notation from Llyr obvious is approving, with the hopes that should Crovane and de Lire both survive what's come, they'll have a good relationship to follow. "So." he looks at Jeffeth. "How'd you get roped into it?"

Jeffeth reaches out and takes the official looking missives, making them appear like tiny post-its in his mit. He studies them longer than should be necessary, and even mouths some of the words while reading (he isn't super smart, okay?). He grunts his assent. "Seems legit..." and tucks them into the waistband of his bathing trunks for safe keeping so he can have them filed in the Vellichorian Archives and tell the important Faith people that he approved this contract.

"Alright, so she doesn't wanna be fuckin' anyone else which means you can't either, okay?" Jeffeth needs to make sure Geralt understands this very important point here. Oh. How'd he get roped into this? He answers a bit quieter, "I volunteered. She almost married some paper pusher at the Grotto but after a lot of thinking and weighing the pros and cons decided you were a better match."

Arienne, the snarky d'Lire Steward have been dismissed.

Bower, a barb-bothering butcher bird have been dismissed.

Winter's Bite, a gray peak mountain pup have been dismissed.

1 de Lire mook have been dismissed.

"Volunteered or voluntold?" Gearlt asks with a lopsided grin to his face, but he sobers at the Very Important Point. "I got my manners, despite what others say about me. She only wants bedding between the two of us, I'm just fine with that. No skin off my back." Then raise of the brow at the other contender. "Guess I should be flattered, I didn't know I was competing. Makes me think I should go to the Grotto more often now. Shit, maybe we'll make that a honeymoon, if only so our officiant here can get back to his relaxing."

Lys laughs a little bit and says, "Ha! I mean-- it was /close/ but I figured you know.." A shrug of her shoulders is given, "Better to pick someone big and strong I can hide behind with the horde comes?" A wink is given and she snorts, "We are not honeymooning in the grotto." She glances at the big ass sword and says, "Hmmmm. I bet I could convince Jaenelle to get us a wedding present." And then nods toward Jeffeth, "And he volunteered! Even knowing that once we can never ever find ourselves in each other's arms again." A giggle is given. This seems to be some sort of joke.

Kiko, a Kite of the Cloudspine, Hickory, the Deerhound, Russel, a Blackram Retainer, 1 House Lyonesse Adept Guards arrive, following Cahal.

"A sacrifice I willingly make to Limerance..." Jeffeth says with all due solemnity to Lys' joke.

"Very well Lord Geralt Crovane, Baronness Lys De Lire." He opens his arms to their full span. It's a great deal of ground covered and just massive biceps that also have biceps. "We are gathered here today in the sight of the Gods to make a matrimony and swear vows of ... matrimarriage." He looks at Lord Geralt and clears his throat, "In the name of Limerance, give your solemn vow unto your bride. That you will honor the contract between your houses and do your duty as husband and consort. That you will keep faith to your monogamy and...uh...all the rest of it." Jeffeth is certain he learned what he's supposed to say in Noble Prepschool.

Lys ducks underneath Jeffeth's giant wingspan when he spreads his arms. A smile is given toward Geralt, her fingers lacing together behind her back. She rocks a little on her feet in the sand.

6 Grayson House Guards, Maureen, an unflappable nanny, Clark, an exasperated guard arrive, following Sabella.

Oh right, this part that he has to do. He didn't even have a speech prepared. Would he even of prepared one if he had had time to do so. This is so off the cuff, and really? He's down with all of it. "I feel like I should been a better choice than a paper pusher, but," the grin on his face is humored. "Alright Sir Jeffeth." He'll give a glance at Frostsea again then looking at Lys. "On my honor as a man of the North and the Sword of Crovane, I set aside my duty so that I take up a new one. Honoring the contact between our houses. That I give an oath to never sleep with anyone except the woman I call my wife. And protect this bond that I'm looking forward to develop. And y'know. And the oath that I hope that she puts up with my bullshit. Especially if I drag blood on the carpet by accident."

Lys, Geralt, and Jeffeth are gathered on the beach. Lys and Jeffeth have CLEARLY just come from a bath house of sorts. Both are wearing bathing attire; jeffeth in bathing trunks, and Lys in a thin black bathing chemise of silk. Geralt on the other hand is dressed nicely! Lys' hair has been cut terribly, terribly short. Like cut off with a single sharp blade all at once, rather than done by a professional. Jeffeth is in the middle of officiating a 'matrimarriage', right there on the beach.

There isn't even a bonfire. There is, however, a big ass sword in the sand.

Cahal has only just arrived. He doesnt really know anyone. Yet when the marriage is properly finished he bursts into raucous applause with a WHOOT!, a whistle and a loud "Congratulations!"

Sabella is late to a thing she only just heard about! But the People's Princess, the peppiest of them all, LOVES weddings! So here she is. Does it matter how slapdash this one is? No! Not at all. She's happy to be here.

No bonfire? Jeffeth fixes this. He asks Gild very very nicely for one as a wedding gift to the couple. And lo! one appears. Yay Gild.

He nods to Geralt and grunts. "Alright. Cool." He turns his bigass head to look at the much smaller (but still above average height!) Lys. He lifts his chin and tells her, "Baroness Lys De Lire. Do you accept Lord Geralt Crovane's vows? And make some of your own, before Limerance? That you will honor the very sanctimony of the contract between your houses? Due your duty as a wife to provide an heir of succession? And that you will also not boink anyone but your groom-husband, Geralt? Say the vows."

Lys checks composure at hard. Lys fails.

Cahal realises he gave the congratulations a little too early and gives Sabella a sheepish grin. Oops. "They are getting married." he would claim he is whispering but everyone can easily hear it.

Lys when there is suddenly a fire, grabbing onto one of Jeffeth's massive arms and tangling there for a moment like a startled cat. She clears her throat and lets go, dropping back to the ground in her barefeet. A little shake of her head is given and she glances back to Jeffeth as he speaks, looking briefly wide-eyed. It's the thing about wifely duty that gets her squinting at the big man for a moment. She clears her throat and says, "I, um, yes. I vow before Limerance that I will honor the contract between our houses and that I will /attempt/ to provide heiress in good faith and I will, ahem, boink anyone but my groom-husband. I also vow not to stab him in /the back/, literally or metaphorically. I can make no promises on front-stabbings, however. Some times these things happen. I vow to be the bestest, mostest loyal wife to ever be liege of Afflua." She clears her throat and gives Geralt a thumbs up.

not boink*

"You will /not/ boink anyone but your husband..." Jeffeth seeks clarification here because now it's gotten a little confusing for him.

Cahal whispers loudly to Sabella. "Did she just promise to boink everyone except her husband?" Poor Lys.

Lys looks up at the sky a moment and says, "Yes-- that's what I meant. Only him." She points at Geralt.

"I heard!" Sabella is excited as she responds to Cahal. "...did he say 'boink'?" A blink or two later. "They keep saying 'boink.'" The princess falls into a fit of giggles.

Jeffeth waves a magic hand and Gild retcons the faux pas and subsequent poses about it. He continues on, solemnly, of course. "Very good. And yes. /Attempt/. That's all we can ask." he nods. "Thank you." He nods again. The two-hampster power mind of his is trying to remember the next thing...

Oh yeah!

"By the power divested in me by the Faith of the Pantheon, and before the Gods - especially Limerance - I declare your maritals valid and unimputed. Together you join your houses for the common good, common aide and common Faith. I pray Gods light your path and...." shit he forgot a part! He blushes. "...uhhh...If any Mirrormasks or other asshole wants to try and say something about this not being totally awesome, now is the time to do it." He peers around with a hint of violence for anyone who wants to stop the proceedings....

Sabella is neither a mirrormask nor any other kind of asshole!

Lys looks at Geralt, then over her shoulder at Cahal and Sabella. Are they gonna object? Her eyebrows wing up.

Cahal says "Its obviously awesome."

Part of Geralt is really wondering how he got himself tied into this. On the one hand, he was always told to don't court crazy. But at the same time...where's the fun in doing the opposite. So listening to Lys' vows does get him to bark out a laugh. "I mean, that's pretty much my current life already, so," And seeing the correction does make laugh again. "Oh, these last days will be nothing if not exiting, I can say that for shitsure." But then listening to the rest of the speech, or at least the parts that Jeffeth remembers, he lays a hand casually on the hilt of Frostsea as it sticks out of the ground, tip embedded into the sand. "Boy, I'd really hope nobody say anything against it." And seeing nobody say anything, he gestures towards Lys for at least to get sealing of the marriage. "Gimme some sugar, baby."

"Kiss the bride!" Sabella is getting carried away. "The groom, I mean!"

Lys checks composure at hard. Lys marginally fails.

"Alright. Seal the union with a smooch. Let's see it." Jeffeth motions to the newly wed couple and grins.

Cahal stamps a foot before starting to chant "Kiss Kiss Kiss"

Sabella claps and cheers!

Lys checks dexterity and brawl at normal. Lys is successful.

Lys owl-eyes at Geralt when he tells her to give him some sugar, and then Jeffeth also urges for a kiss. It's almost like she forgot that was a part of the ceremony altogether. And then there's Cahal chanting in the background. She lets out a single snorting laugh at that before she gets herself under control. She looks solemnly at Geralt and says, "Ok."

She takes a few steps /back/ for some reason, getting approximately one Jeffeth Arm Length away, and then /charges/ at Geralt, to jump on him bodily and smack her mouth to his.

Geralt checks strength and athletics at normal. Geralt is successful.

Jeffeth starts the slow clap. And looks /around/. Everyone else better start clapping.

Sabella is still clapping! Even if she's confused by how Lys kisses people. That's a style she's never seen before. She looks up at Cahal and wonders, "Have I been out of the dating game that long that kissing has fundamentally changed?"

Okay, that line was pretty bad, Geralt is free to admit that. But everyone was seemed to be pushing for it, so why not. And while Geralt is a big guy, granted not the half-giant that Jeffeth is, he more than capable to easily catch Lys in his arms when she leaps at him, the man not moving when she charges at him. Able to pretty much hold her up with arm, he returns the embrace and the kiss. Even if that kiss might've been slightly harder than usual. But that's fine, Northmen are into that kind of thing, right?

Cahal cheers when Lys takes a running leap at Geralt. "You go Girl!" he flashes a grin at Jeffeth and then catches Sabella so he can give her a overly dramatic cheek smooch. "Nobody left out."

But there is someone left out, Cahal. A big big poor something. Jeffeth is very happy for the couple. And Sabella gets a kiss. He looks around and hmms... It seems to be the thing to do. He trudges across the sandy beach to Lys' dutiful steward, Arienne, drapes her over an arm and plants big ole smooch on her.

Sabella squeals in delighted surprise when Cahal catches her for that cheek kiss, her laughter bubbling past her lips! "Oh, but Jeffeth..." The grandmaster is seeing to his kiss, it seems. So she turns and plants a stage-worthy, lip-smacking kiss on Cahal's cheek. Then, she's cheering for the marital couple again. "Congratulations!"

Lys wraps both arms AND legs around Geralt for that rather rough kiss. It isn't a particularly /long/ kiss. But it is a rough one. There's probably some teeth. And then she pulls back, though still spider-monkeyed to his front and says, "Well hello husband. Wanna see your new home now?"

Also. Arienne is being kissed by Jeffeth. She heaves out a long suffering sigh and kisses back. And /somehow/ still manages to make it sarcastic by rolling her eyes afterward.

Jeffeth checks strength and athletics at daunting. Jeffeth fails.

Good thing that Geralt is actually fine with that kind of kissing, especially when she's literally clinging to the large Northman. He smiles gives a broad, breaded smile at Lys. "Hello back to you, wife. No issue with that. Haven't been to the Lycene ward often. Figure that's about to change real quick, isn't it."

Jeffeth checks strength and athletics at daunting. Jeffeth is successful.

Cahal's laugh is easy and boisterous. "This is by far the best noble wedding i've ever been too."

After taking Arienne's haughty breath away, Jeffeth lumbers back over to the married couple. He dips down and easily hefts Lys onto his right shoulder. But, more 'what the fuck?'-ily, he hefts Geralt....no he doesn't. He grumps and sets Lys back down. Then he hefts Lys back up on his /left/ shoulder and hefts Geralt up on his /right/ shoulder! There we go. That's the way to do it. He turns and carries the blissful pair away to their honeymoon.....

....at The Grotto.

"This was certainly a wedding!" Sabella says to Cahal, watching as Jeffeth hoists the couple

Lys is overheard praising Sabella.

Lys is overheard praising Geralt.

Lys is overheard praising Jeffeth.

Lys is overheard praising Cahal.