Written By Bhandn
Sept. 23, 2019, 8:32 p.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
I woke in the morning as I have done for more days than I can count, and found myself not seeming to mind the cold of the autumn morning, with the sun no longer rising with me. The lad was asleep, as he usually was at that hour, and I didn't disturb him, but instead threw another blanket over him. How he can stay warm and asleep with only the one I still do not know, but it was a kindness he showed me during my troubles this past week and I could not help but do the same for him.
The morning was spent as it usually was, working myself into a heated sweat with a run, then other drills to remind my body of what I expect of it should I have need of my blade. That's become harder, the older I've gotten, and I can remember days of frustration over not being able to do certain exercises quite as well when I was younger, but that was not the case today. Today, I was determined to continue despite the slight aches that came from those simple warmup drills. I managed to finish them all completely, without stopping, and as I sat with the waterskin and its icy contents thinking on it, I couldn't help but smile. This morning, I felt younger by years, even though I knew I really wasn't.
I can still feel that grief that comes from Valena's death, with that desire to uphold that promise I swore to her grave, yet I no longer feel myself wishing she was standing next to me still, or that I need the taste or willowbark or some other foul thing on my tongue when considering what words to say. I can think of the words she would say to me, and instead of wistful bitterness, I found a smile instead. I will miss her. That feeling will never change, but the way I /perceive/ that feeling has changed. /I/ have changed, and I have a reminder of /why/ I have changed, what it means to change, and every time I look upon that reminder I think on the meaning of that change.
When I chose to come to Arx to stay, I was aimless, grief-stricken, and the sight of the roads nearly revolted me. There was even a time when I thought I would do the unthinkable, but I didn't. I came to Arx, and perhaps that was the beginning of that change, a seed that was meant to sprout but instead found itself lacking for nourishment and care. Perhaps in this metaphor it was merely winter, and I needed to wait until spring had arrived with the sun's warmth and the clouds' rainy depths. Whatever the reason, I can feel that warmth now, along with those drops running down my face, and now it feels like what it is that was lying dormant within for so long has at last begun to emerge from the soil and greet the world as it was meant to be.
I feel whole.
The morning was spent as it usually was, working myself into a heated sweat with a run, then other drills to remind my body of what I expect of it should I have need of my blade. That's become harder, the older I've gotten, and I can remember days of frustration over not being able to do certain exercises quite as well when I was younger, but that was not the case today. Today, I was determined to continue despite the slight aches that came from those simple warmup drills. I managed to finish them all completely, without stopping, and as I sat with the waterskin and its icy contents thinking on it, I couldn't help but smile. This morning, I felt younger by years, even though I knew I really wasn't.
I can still feel that grief that comes from Valena's death, with that desire to uphold that promise I swore to her grave, yet I no longer feel myself wishing she was standing next to me still, or that I need the taste or willowbark or some other foul thing on my tongue when considering what words to say. I can think of the words she would say to me, and instead of wistful bitterness, I found a smile instead. I will miss her. That feeling will never change, but the way I /perceive/ that feeling has changed. /I/ have changed, and I have a reminder of /why/ I have changed, what it means to change, and every time I look upon that reminder I think on the meaning of that change.
When I chose to come to Arx to stay, I was aimless, grief-stricken, and the sight of the roads nearly revolted me. There was even a time when I thought I would do the unthinkable, but I didn't. I came to Arx, and perhaps that was the beginning of that change, a seed that was meant to sprout but instead found itself lacking for nourishment and care. Perhaps in this metaphor it was merely winter, and I needed to wait until spring had arrived with the sun's warmth and the clouds' rainy depths. Whatever the reason, I can feel that warmth now, along with those drops running down my face, and now it feels like what it is that was lying dormant within for so long has at last begun to emerge from the soil and greet the world as it was meant to be.
I feel whole.
Written By Rysen
Sept. 23, 2019, 6:37 p.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Olivia
Thanks again for the book you lent me. It's proven invaluable time and time again.
Written By Brianna
Sept. 23, 2019, 4:58 p.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
Things are not perfect. They are never perfect. However, I feel whole for the first time in a very, very long time.
Written By Esme
Sept. 23, 2019, 1:52 p.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
So much … muchness today.
Have you ever had a day or two where everything comes out wrong? Like you rehearse it in your mind and all the words are wrong? That's today. I've smoothed over things but still ugh.
If you are reading this. Know that you are still the perfect you. Days get better and you matter so much.
Have you ever had a day or two where everything comes out wrong? Like you rehearse it in your mind and all the words are wrong? That's today. I've smoothed over things but still ugh.
If you are reading this. Know that you are still the perfect you. Days get better and you matter so much.
Written By Amari
Sept. 23, 2019, 12:57 p.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
I've set out on a pilgrimage from Arx to Duskshire, and maybe even Sanctum if the weather holds. I've vowed to stop at every shrine, no matter how minor, and pray to Gloria.
It turns out there are a tremendous number of roadside shrines.
I've also been tasked by Baron Norwood to do good deeds and help those in need on the way. This morning (with the greatly appreciated help of Lord Quintin Ashford), I felled my first tree for a very frustrated woodsman and his friends. We definitely earned our breakfast, especially Quintin, who would have died if I hadn't saved him from being squashed.
On a disappointing note, I've yet to see any tree forts, but Ashford wood is indeed hard.
It turns out there are a tremendous number of roadside shrines.
I've also been tasked by Baron Norwood to do good deeds and help those in need on the way. This morning (with the greatly appreciated help of Lord Quintin Ashford), I felled my first tree for a very frustrated woodsman and his friends. We definitely earned our breakfast, especially Quintin, who would have died if I hadn't saved him from being squashed.
On a disappointing note, I've yet to see any tree forts, but Ashford wood is indeed hard.
Written By Ida
Sept. 23, 2019, 12:04 p.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
Oaths and steel, I have never been so effing happy to see my own bed. The trip was...well, I'm not really sure, but I am grateful to my traveling companions and the grace of all the Gods that I returned at all. Battered, bruised, but alive is a gift that I don't plan on wasting.
Written By Octavia
Sept. 23, 2019, 10:59 a.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Corrigan
In my experience, if you see an Inquisitor smiling you generally don't want to know the reason why.
Written By Sigurd
Sept. 23, 2019, 10:11 a.m.(11/20/1011 AR)
Perception, it is a powerful thing. How we believe something to be is how it -is- in our view until our perceptions change. That perception is based not only on what we know but it is based on how we feel. What we have heard. What tidbits we have managed to gather. Even the best of us cannot say we fully understand ourselves so how can we think we know anyone else. Truly?
Perception is a combination of what we see, what we feel, what we hope, and what we desire. More often than not our perception of a thing is very far from the truth of a thing. This is especially for people.
I had hoped that it was only heightened emotions that would make such a foul and ugly attempt be made. That with time calmer thoughts would prevail. Now I see I hoped for naught.
Pity.
Back less than a month and already someone tries to tear into me behind my back.
Perception is a combination of what we see, what we feel, what we hope, and what we desire. More often than not our perception of a thing is very far from the truth of a thing. This is especially for people.
I had hoped that it was only heightened emotions that would make such a foul and ugly attempt be made. That with time calmer thoughts would prevail. Now I see I hoped for naught.
Pity.
Back less than a month and already someone tries to tear into me behind my back.
Written By Iseulet
Sept. 23, 2019, 6:28 a.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Gaston
I rarely have time to dance, but I found a moment recently to have one with a dear friend of mine. I'm glad I did.
Written By Arcadia
Sept. 23, 2019, 4:31 a.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Volcica
I can't begin to express House Stahlben's gratitude and happiness at the reception Seraphanite is receiving. It truly is the most beautiful gem and the people who have so generously spread the word on it's production. It truly warms my heart to see so many pieces of it on people around the compact.
In truth, bringing this gem to the city was all Lady Volcica's idea. She is the brains behind it all. I have been truly blessed in finding family in her. Though, her next project excites me more than gems. Be warned!
In truth, bringing this gem to the city was all Lady Volcica's idea. She is the brains behind it all. I have been truly blessed in finding family in her. Though, her next project excites me more than gems. Be warned!
Written By Monique
Sept. 22, 2019, 11:48 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Marian
Do you know what my sister got me for my birthday? Alaricite. Very clearly, she's winning in the battle against Marius for my eternal love and the title of Favorite Sibling.
Written By Lucrezia
Sept. 22, 2019, 11:42 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Sometimes it's eerie how much we agree, but other times it makes me so giddy. I stood out by the statue of my parents today, brooding over what father would think of me and my choices. Would he have wanted me to marry someone just like him, like I wanted to be? Or, is it just my reckless nature, greedily reaching for something I've always wanted. Maybe he would have wanted someone more temperate to moderate me. I am sure mother had despaired that this day would ever come. I wonder who they would have chosen for me. Like a child I whispered if they approved to their statue.
All I heard was that song.
All I heard was that song.
Written By Mara
Sept. 22, 2019, 11:36 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
This week has been wonderful, Belladonna and Valentina surprised me with the most beautiful of dresses, and now to find a talented tailor to make some beautiful pieces to go with it.
Written By Volcica
Sept. 22, 2019, 11:08 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Grazia
I did not, in my wildest dreams, expect seraphinite to take off like it has. While I may have been the driving force behind the campaign, the idea was far from mine alone. Arcadia encouraged every step of it.
Duchess Grazia, however, was the one that convinced me to send pieces not only to friends and family so that they might more easily talk it up, but to notable fashion icons and Whispers, as well. It felt strange, sending a gift with a request to flash it about. I did not expect how amazing everyone would be. The letters of thanks back, and the lengths of promotion..
I never would have gone so far, if not for my patron. Thank you for pushing me.
Duchess Grazia, however, was the one that convinced me to send pieces not only to friends and family so that they might more easily talk it up, but to notable fashion icons and Whispers, as well. It felt strange, sending a gift with a request to flash it about. I did not expect how amazing everyone would be. The letters of thanks back, and the lengths of promotion..
I never would have gone so far, if not for my patron. Thank you for pushing me.
Written By Fiora
Sept. 22, 2019, 11:01 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
It's lovely to see the city in a new light after you've thought about it for quite a while.
Written By Mercedes
Sept. 22, 2019, 10:29 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Months searching through mud and fog, and for what? Only shadows of what could be of use. Nothing solid. The marks of campsites long left cold in stony hollows. Ashes scattered in barns that shouldn't have laid empty. Villages that did not wake with the dawn, their animals crying to be milked, to be fed, long past the cockerel's crow. Farmers sleepless into late hours beneath the new moon's dark. Lying eyes and tongues.
Little else. To some, a failure. But the only failure is surrender. Rekindle and the flame burns bright.
I remain undaunted.
Little else. To some, a failure. But the only failure is surrender. Rekindle and the flame burns bright.
I remain undaunted.
Written By Corrigan
Sept. 22, 2019, 10:17 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Ah Arx. The city that thinks inquisitors cannot smile.
Written By Monique
Sept. 22, 2019, 10:16 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
I have decided to put together a small event at the Greenmarch Lodge, with my brother Marius' blessing. I know, I know. I hardly know how to do anything in half-measures. But truly. Small, this one will be. Just an exhibition of the various types of small weaponry and what feats it is capable of.
I'll need volunteers, of course. Masked volunteers, so no one knows who they're throwing sharp objects at, lest my brother's warning of 'no killing anyone' prove justified. I could use practice dummies, but practice dummies don't exactly inspire daring deeds. Though maybe the practice dummies will be for the garrotes...
Daggers, stilettos, garrotes, small bow, short sword, knives, very sharp hairpins, short spears... what am I missing?
I'll need volunteers, of course. Masked volunteers, so no one knows who they're throwing sharp objects at, lest my brother's warning of 'no killing anyone' prove justified. I could use practice dummies, but practice dummies don't exactly inspire daring deeds. Though maybe the practice dummies will be for the garrotes...
Daggers, stilettos, garrotes, small bow, short sword, knives, very sharp hairpins, short spears... what am I missing?
Written By Aella
Sept. 22, 2019, 10:02 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
Sometimes I believe people forget we are more than what people imagine we are, what they heard we are like.
Northerners are more than naked bear wrestlers for voyeurs... and it annoys me to have to even say those words.
Northerners are more than naked bear wrestlers for voyeurs... and it annoys me to have to even say those words.
Written By Jaenelle
Sept. 22, 2019, 9:59 p.m.(11/19/1011 AR)
I was quite happy to take a moment to join the get together hosted by Lord Martino and Lady Catalana. While I did not participate in the drink making, I was honored to hear Baroness Lucita sing. Beautiful as always.
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