So You Want To Build Buildings
Aug. 1, 2019, 7 p.m.
Outside Arx - Oathlands near Artshall - Barracks of College of Agriculture
Comments and Log
Things have been going well at the college, super well! No one has been attacked recently. While the rest of the Compact is erupting into flames, things have been *peaceful*. Until.
The builders want to start laying the foundation for what's meant to be a huge open air shrine to Mangata, Petrichor and Lagoma. And what they're met with is an angry group of villagers insisting that this isn't the right place. IT'S REALLY NOT THE RIGHT PLACE IT'S TERRIBLE DO NOT BUILD THIS HERE.
Things are at a stand off.
Kedehern is... Befuddled. Why on *Arx* is this not the right place? What is the problem, seriously, people? He heads out though to see what the problem is, and what the bloody issue is this time... Things were going so damn well, too.
It's a big problem, Kedehern. A huge one. "The light will *NOT* hit the shrine properly. It will not shine properly on the dimension of Petrichor!" One of the villagers insists. Another gestures to the ground, "One time we held the thirteen sacrifices here and the fire went out! It's clearly cursed!"
Cursed. Right. "When the fire went out... What exactly were the circumstances?" the Lord asks. If it was raining, or they didn't have enough fuel, or... He's certain it's some bullshit like this. Alas. Such is his bane. Turning to the other, "I'm sure the builders have taken the light into account, and properly surveyed the area, goodman."
"It was a rather windy day. But it was a windy because of the *curse*." Yes, that's right, Kedehern. It's the curses fault the the wind blew out the fire. "Anyway, you can't just build a shrine in a place where fires go out. What about the sacramental candles??"
"One would assume that the shrine will have a wind break to make sure that the candles in fact are not affected by the wind," Kedehern says as gently as he can manage.
"What about the cursed wind?" The man asks Kedehern stubbornly.
"Don't you think having a Shrine of Petrichor, Lagoma, and Mangata here would clearly exorcise the curse? Or is your faith in the gods so little that you don't think the three could accomplish such?" Kedehern asks, a brow rising.
"Are you calling into question my Faith in the gods? We have heard stories of shrines in Arx, the great city of Arx being laid waste by horrible blights and statues covered in pestilence!" There's lots of handwaving going on. Kedehern is bravely trying to stop a group of visitors from hassling the poor people who just want to build a shrine. That's all they want is put the foundation down for the shrine!
He squints. "I'm saying that just because it's windy now and then, doesn't mean the bloody land is -cursed-," Kedehern half snaps, patience perhaps worn thin over the last few months.
"Where would the optimal place to build the shrine be, then, exactly?" Amari asks as she strolls over from where she's been supervising other very important business, mainly the preparation of tea and talking to some of the children she knows from the time spent. She flashes Kedehern a smile as if she's happy to relieve him before he starts punching people into the ground.
"A curse is serious business, Lord Kedehern!" the man borderline yells. "Would you like your barracks built on the cursed part?" He's sniffing the air indignantly when Amari arries. When that question is asked he looks back and forth. "Uh... maybe..." He scratches his head, "Not over there, that's where we found the sinkhole that one time. And not over there, that's where the road washed out in the storm... Not over there, that's where the rabbits like to rest. And up north isn't so nice because that's where lightening strikes."
The shrine builders throw their hands up in exasperation.
"Are those places all cursed, too?" Kedehern asks, drily.
"So this is rather the best place available." Amari says in a tone that sounds tentative, but her expression says it's not really up for further debate. "Surely we can all figure out a way to make this work. What negates an ill wind? Wouldn't the shrine itself, if consecrated and prayed in by true believers?"
Perhaps Shae had been off looking at something, or maybe she had to wash her ugly cute puppy because it had made a skunk friend. So smelly. But she was here now, amber eyes glancing around as she arrives, Brimbar excitedly running forward to greet her friends! Sniffling for food on all of them. A smile as Shae makes her way to Kedehern and Amari. Curiously looking about as she tries to put together what was going on. "Oh, we are building a shrine? Will it be to all the gods, or will it be one to Petrichor?" A genuine warmth and smile there.
"That's what I said," Kedehern murmured to Amari, about the shrine negating the 'cursed wind'. A glance to Shae then, and "Petrichor, Lagoma, and Mangata, actually," his face brightening at her presence, as the Laurent steps back to see what Amari can do. He leans down, and offers a bit of one of Alix's biscuits to Brimbar.
"They're bad luck!" The man insists next to Kedehern. "So yes, cursed in a way. Bad luck is like being cursed." No, no. Those two things aren't related, but nice try, guy. At this place being the *best* space available, he starts to mutter under his breath. "It should be over there!" And he points a location about a hundred yards away.
The shrine builders are finally fed up and one of them pushes Concerned Villager.
Concerned Villager pushes OG Shrine Builder back.
"Stop!" shouts Kedehern. "Let's keep our disagreements to words, why don't we?" he states, raising his voice.
There is a brightening of Shae's smile at her betrothed and her cousin, decidedly happy to see them both. Brimbar eagerly eats the biscuit and then sniffs about for some more. After having practically swallowed it whole. A slight shake of Shae's head as she pets the pupper. "Going to eat us out house and home you are, with that hollow leg of yours Brimy." Nodding as Kedehern explains about the Shrine, but well then people are pushing each other and Kedehern is shouting. Letting Kedehern deal with the rabble rouser's, Shae looks over to where that man had pointed, to see what the spot looked like.
Amari notices first the Brimbar go by her ankles and glances down at that, even as the discussion is getting heated. Ugly stinky puppy is too cute to ignore. Naturally, she expects Shae to be not distant so turns to greet her with a wiggle of her fingers and a murmur of hello. She addresses the villagers, "So it's inauspicious to build it right here-" Then there's the suggestion to build it a full hundred yards away. She raises an eyebrow to ask why, and the shoving begins. "Please, as Lord Kedehern says. Builders, if you wouldn't mind, have a rest. I'll have some refreshments brought over, then you might tell me if it's impossible to build over there, or you're merely irritated." The villagers then, she addresses, "Has any attempt ever been made, seriously, to get rid of this bad luck? How can you abide such a thing? I think we ought to pray."
The spot of land pointed out looks absolutely horrid and not like a place anyone wants to start digging into the ground. Which is probably why the shrine builders are finally starting to rebel. How long have they been trying to build here for? At least a couple of hours now.
When Kedehern shouts at them, the pushing builder starts shouting back. "BUT LORD KEDEHERN. Lady Amari! This is crazy! We can't build over there- he's just angry that Sheila-"
The villager begins shaking his fist in the builder's face. "YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT SHEILA! IT'S ABOUT THE CURSED LUCK."
"IT'S ABOUT SHEILA YOU DAFT MORON!"
Sheila? Who on earth is Sheila? "He's angry that Sheila what?" Kedehern asks of the builder. Why does the Laurent Lord have the sudden worry this about to be a story of a jilted lover?
Or maybe a beloved cow. She is pretty sure it is a cow. A glance to the two arguing, "That spot is not buildable at all." The woman declares, like that would really make a difference, which it wouldn't. A glance to Amari and then Brimy, "Sorry she is so smelly, I gave her bath, but that skunk... she won't leave it alone. I think they have become best friends." A sigh there. "Praying is always a good idea, especially to help get rid of badluck." A nod, in agreement with Amari.
Kedhern has asked the obvious question, so Amari holds her tongue, but does put her hands on her hips and her right eyebrow up as high as possible. We are not amused. Well, until she, but that's mostly because Shae's telling her about Brimy's new skunk pal. "I hardly noticed. You smell like Barf, only stronger... you could squish some tomatoes on her. I think that's supposed to help. I tried perfume on Barf, but he didn't seem to like it at all and it just made the aroma weirder and worse somehow."
The men are starting to slap at each other, more than hit, as their respective groups are trying to pull them apart. It's a good old fashioned slap fight right here in the college. "HE TOOK SHEILA FROM ME," the villager shouts.
"SHE NEVER LIKED YOU. YOU WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
"SHE WAS OUR BEST PRODUCER."
Maybe it really IS a cow.
"Just because she likes you, doesn't mean you get bring her over to your side of the pasture!"
It is a cow.
"Gloria, give me strength..." Kedehern mutters, looking up into the sky, and then back at the villagers. "You're going to stop slapping each other RIGHT NOW or I'm taking Sheila with me back to Artshall, damn you both," he grates out.
At the mention of perfume Shae looks horrified for a moment, "Oh goodness, I can only imagine how it changed the aroma." Pause there as she glances over to the slap fight. Just sort of staring at it, perhaps in disbelief. And then there is a loud, sudden snort of laughter. "A cow... they're fighting over a cow!" A shake of her head as she realizes that was not helping. "Perhaps we can find some agreement about Sheila. So you can share her... unless you would prefer Lord Kedehern to take her..." This was... look Shae was really trying hard to not laugh, but come on, this is hilarious!
"It was horrific." Amari says of the co-mingled stinks, but the discussion amongst the locals has taken quite a turn. "Why are you fighting over a cow? Does she dispense liquid gold from her nipples? I'd like to see this Shiela, because she had better be a creature of untold perfection to have sparked this sort of hostility between neighbors. I'll have to describe her in great detail for the report back to Artshall. The Duke and Duchess will have to know of this special cow."
"She's the finest cow in the entire duchy!" The villager insists and gives the builder another slap.
"He was giving her the wrong oats! The fields are open, she knew I was a better caretaker!"
One of the people passing by quips, "It's actually the duke's cow that he had imported from the Crownlands for our breeding stock. But these two fools have been fighting over her all month!"
Kedehern looks to the passer bys, and then stares balefully at the two, after giving the speaker a brief nod of thanks. "So it's not either of yours cow at all. It's -our- cow. I think perhaps it's best to take it back with us after all, if you two can't agree to abide peacefully."
There is a bit of a laugh that escapes Shae as she works to temper her amusement over the whole situation. Though as the passer bys offer up the extra information there is a slight lift of her eyebrow. "Sirs, perhaps it would be best for all of us to work together and not fight over a cow that is not yours?" Shae tries to kindly point out.
Amari is quiet. Kedehern and Shae seem to have the main argument covered. Maybe she's deliberating. Maybe she wants to slap somebody. It's hard to tell.
The suggestion that the cow will be brought back to Artshall is met with shouts from both parties and a firm declaration that they, "NEED THIS COW!"
"If this shrine doesn't get built, I don't care -who- needs this cow, do you understand me? Now work together, or we'll be having Sheila steaks for dinner."
That's... worrisome, that they /NEED/ it. A lift of an eyebrow there as Shae watches the two before she slowly glances to Kedehern and Amari. Lips lightly pressing together, "Perhaps we should see this Sheila." These two are acting a bit crazy about this cow.
"I'd be happy to hear their cases and arbitrate this conflict now, if you two would agree." Amari says to Kedehern and Shae, but she doesn't press for it. "Whatever you'd both prefer. We should try to do three different things, but I am curious to see this cow, and agree with Lord Kedehern that the main objective is getting this shrine built. That we would entertain anything to do with this cow, I should remind you, would purely be an act of graciousness on our part and I hope you would appreciate it."
SHEILA STEAKS? Outrage ripples through the group of builders and villagers. But the passerbys seem genuinely amused and start chanting, 'Sheila steaks! Sheila steaks! Sheila steaks!'
There are also some vague mutterings that *something* will finally get down around here. Apparently this has been a long standing feud over the cow.
"By all means," Kedehern sats to Amari, granting her leave to try and arbitrate. "But yes. The cow. We'll see it now." Kedehern can't believe these words are coming out of his mouth. "And when we get back, we better see that this foundation is underway."
For her part Shae seems caught betwee amusement and disbelief that this whole situation is even happening. Nodding though to Amari's offer seeing the wisdom in it. "Yes, it seems that taking care of this now will in then end be better for everyone involved. Including ourselves."
Amari gives a nod, and points to the villager, "Let's hear your side of things first then I'll hear yours. No interuptions, and no talking out of turn. Keep up, since we're apparently to see the cow in question right now." She gestures for the two parties to follow them, with Kedehern in the lead.
The cow isn't very far away at all. Just off in this here pasture. Admittedly this is a very adorable cow with a shiny bell collar. But it's not a mythical cow, it's not a magical cow, it's not a cow worth fighting over the location of a shrine. Unless you're a farmer and maybe sure, there's something spectacular about this animal that no one else can notice. All along the way, the villager waxes on about how great this cow is and what a great cow caretaker he is and how he's going to deliver the cow's first calf until the shrine builder came along.
When they get there, a local teenager is taking care of the cow.
For her part Shae follows along, watching the people, especially the two men. And also trying to keep the stinky smelly cute ugly puppy from eating EVERYTHING she thinks is possibly edible.
Kedehern carefully nudges Brimbar away from some poison ivy... "This is the cow everyone's fighting over?" Kedehern is decidedly unimpressed. "...It's just an Ashford Holstein..."
"Right then. To be clear, the village elder didn't assign you the task of taking care of this cow?" Amari asks for a bit of clarification as they approach the cow the man so adores. She tips her head, narrows her eyes as if she knows something about cows, then looks to the builder. "And your side of it? You likewise have taken the care of this cow upon yourself voluntarily?" Though she holds up a finger, as if he should hold that thought a moment first, she has to talk to this OTHER cow caretaker, the teenager. "Excuse me. Are you taking care of Sheila as well?"
The man who is supposed to be building the shrines starts to yammer on about how clearly he was meant to ALSO take care of the special cow. Meanwhile the teenager looks on with big wide eyes at the cluser of nobles. He stares at Kedehern and then Shae and finally Amari, "Uh, yes? But... wait, am I not supposed to? It's on my work rotation to take care of the cows?"
Kedehern rubs at his face, and waves off the teenager. "You're fine, young man... You're fine..."
Brimbar is immediately interested in the cow and the teenager. And she is quickly sniffing about them, looking for... food, of course! Gotta fill that hollow leg! But boy does she stink. "Oh goodness, Brimy, no one wants to smell you, leave the poor lad and Sheila alone." Moving to go get her puppy. A smile to the lad, "You just keep doing good work." She offers with a smile.
"Carry on," Amari smiles reassuringly to the teenager, as Kedehern does, "You seem to be doing just fine with her." That said, she turns to stare directly at Sheila's number one fan, and the builder. "So?"
The kid whose job it is to actually take care of the cow smiles uncertainly before leading her away. What's left behind is two grown men that look a little ashemd of themselves. "I guess it's a fine place to build a shrine..." the villager mutters to himself.
"There's nothing terribly wrong with admiring a fine cow," Amari posits, even if she seems to find it slightly strange to say aloud, "But fighting over it, to the point of delaying the building of a shrine to the gods. How did you go so far astray? I'll be speaking to the elder about this lapse, and suggest you pray hard for guidance and do some self reflection. Both of you. I hope you'll not further trouble Sheila or her rightful caretakers either. It would be for the best. Expend that energy in your duties to your fellow villagers and the faith." Sharp nod, and she's going back to supervise the building again.
Whelp that knocked the wind right of that man's sails! There is a faint sound from Shae and she turns away to look off into the pasture so she does not just laugh. Moving to pick up Brimy, so she didn't wander off after teenager or cow. Turning around, with a smile and then grimace as she holds the puppy away from herself. "It does, seem a fine place. Anyone have any tomatoes?"
Kedehern watches the two men, and then makes a mental note to have one of the men stationed here watch the two men, when they're with the cow, just to make sure theree's no funny business...
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