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A Retort to an 'Emperor'

Posted by Marcus on 12/29/18
To the citizens of this province,

It is our understanding that sniveling curs of the so called 'Undying Emperor' have paid visit to this village, without awareness of how that foreign ruler's title will only be used ironically in all due time. We have been informed that the arrogant and presumptuous flunkies of that deranged despot have taken notice that the caretaker of Arvum has vanished, and they likely intend to present a proposal to the figures of authority here and its peoples in one of your 'Assembly of Peers'. While we do not expect you to ignore the mewling of feckless cowards and treat it with all the disdain it merits, as we understand you are unfamiliar with the gross excesses of an egomaniacal deluded so-called god-king, we must inform you that the Cardian senate has received word of the arrival of these unsavory and perfidious liars. We shall have our own proposal ready, and will present it to your Assembly of Peers as well.

We understand your province suffered somewhat under the Period of Unfortunate Incidents a thousand years ago, which we believe you call the Reckoning. For all the stylings of this so called 'emperor', the realm under his stewardship suffered far worse, as a display of his weakness and incompetence. It should be noted, however, that not a single invader ever survived long enough to approach the Skykingdom of Cardia during the same period. We should offer you the same sort of security, and we hope your governor Alaric and his regional administrators strongly consider alternatives when we present our proposals before you all.

Lord Marcus Sulla
Praetor of Arvum, Commander of the 12th Legion, Leader of the Northern Expeditionary Forces
Voice of Malar, First Skylord of Cardia
Princeps of House Sulla- "Tremble and Despair"

--- Undying Empire Stance ---
Typical. The claws of the Black Spire wield blunt hammers more adroitly than precise instruments.

--- Valiant Effort Stance (from Bonnie) ---
And that goes double for yours, big boy! How does it even navigate a river? I have to know!

--- Scholars Stance (from Sina) ---
Not one but two ships from far-off lands, in so short a time! We will be watching, to ensure that a visit from the representative from Cardia may be properly recorded within the annals of history.

--- Tessere Stance (from Sabine) ---
We applaud the choice by Cardia's emissaries to use their words to open their courtship of the Compact. Strongly phrased proclamations are a welcome change from ravenous armies appearing on our doorsteps...or in our skies.

--- Isles Canines Stance (from Fatima) ---
Then again, size isn't everything.

--- Pravus Stance (from Belladonna) ---
The Voice of Malar, First Skylord of Cardia, has come to our shores. Welcome, Lord Marcus Sulla! We shall meet in the Assembly of Peers, and please, do make it interesting.